Now That We're Here
by skywasmadeofamethyst
Summary: Sequel to Now That I Have You. Chibs, Molly, and Mason are trying hard to recover from all the damage Brian Parker left behind. But balancing family life and SAMCRO isn't easy. Can they stick together through tensions within the club along with life throwing them some hurdles? Can Molly find herself among all the chaos and find it in herself to protect the ones she loves the most
1. What We Need

Chibs' motorcycle sped down the street through the city of Charming the city lights shinng down on him. He hadn't really wanted to take this run in the first place, but he knew that he really didn't have much of a choice in the matter. He couldn't ignore his loyalty to the Sons.

He'd spent a week up in Oregon with Happy and Jax paying a visit to the Sons MC there. They'd had hopes of talking the Joliette Oregon charter into taking over the gun trade, but it hadn't gone the way they'd been hoping.

So far SAMCRO was still in the gun business and there seemed no way of escaping it.

After a week of sleeping up in SAMJOl's clubhouse Chibs was exhausted. The crappy bed in the dorm room he'd had hadn't been even close to being comfortable.

His stomach ached from bad food, his body ached from the road, and his head ached from days of drinking.

The croweaters in Oregon had tried hard to _service _him, but he'd stayed true to Molly.

Chibs knew that he had something incredible with his old lady and he would sooner cut his own hands off than ruin it.

He'd hated being away from her. After all that had happened he was more sure than ever that Molly Dupuis was the love of his life.

The plan to get married and find a way for him to adopt Mason was still in tact and Chibs couldn't wait.

He'd worried himself sick about Molly and Mason in his time away.

Brian Parker had been taken care of just three weeks before. Molly had only been home for two weeks now counting the week he'd been forced to spend away.

To be honest he was irritated with Jax for pulling him from his family. Molly and Mason were still so terribly fragile.

The miscarriage had taken such a toll on Molly. She fell apart at the drop of a hat. Mason was too young to understand his mother's sorrow.

Chibs felt so shitty leaving his family alone at a time like this.

He had tried to argue with Jax; tried to refuse going away on this damn run. He knew though that he had no place to refuse though. Club business took a backseat to no one.

Chibs had left Bobby to watch over Molly and Mason. He only hoped that both his old lady and _his _boy had fared well in his time away from them.

Chibs waved a hand to Happy and Jax as he switched lanes and made a turn separating from the two other men.

He twisted the throttle speeding up his bike more than ready to get back home to the farmhouse.

He was just thankful that at this time of night the streets were practically vacant. Charming's nightlife was located clear on the other side of town.

He let out a relieved sigh when he finally turned down his street. He turned up his headlight needing it on his street given the lack of development around the farmhouse.

It was his main reasoning for picking the farmhouse in the first place; the privacy.

He reached into his kutte pocket pulling out the garage door opener pushing the open button and safely pulling into the garage beside Molly's old blue bug.

He wasn't too entirely shocked to hear that the television was on in the living room as he walked through the door connected to the kitchen from the garage.

He silently greeted both Moose and Rocket grateful that the Border Collie and the old Pug hadn't bothered to bark or throw a fit once they'd realized that it was him and not some intruder.

Chibs shoved his leather gloves into his jeans pocket ignoring the way his body ached. He tossed his keys on the kitchen cabinet and placed his luggage on the floor as he made his way to the living room. He widened his eyes shocked to see Mason sitting up on the sofa watching tv Bobby fast asleep snoring in the recliner.

He let out a huff at the sight. It was past two am and far past Mason's eight pm bedtime.

Chibs was just relieved to see that the big flat-screen television wasn't locked on anything inappropriate. The tv was tuned into one of those channels that played cartoons twenty four hours a day. The paticular channel played vintage cartoons; Looney Toones, The Smurfs, Tom and Jerry, and such.

Mason was wearing his favorite alligator pajamas Molly had bought him for his birthday, mesmerized by an episode of the Flintstones.

Chibs was thankful to see that at least there was no junk food nor soda sitting out on the coffee table. The last thing he needed was to try to get Mason to bed while the boy was on a sugar high. The only thing that seemed to be sitting out was a plastic water bottle that was only half full.

Mason tore his eyes from the tv a smile spreading across his face as he spotted Chibs. He jumped off the sofa running to Chibs his voice ecstatic the smile not leaving his face. "Daddy."

Chibs wasted no time scooping the boy cup allowing him to rest on his hip. He held Mason close to him a tiny part of him never wanting to let go of the child ever again. He couldn't help but to smile at the word _daddy. _Each time Mason called him dad was better than the last.

He knew that in the boy's eyes he would forever be his father; biology didn't mean shit. Brian Parker would never be thought of as Mason's father ever again as long as Chibs lived and breathed.

"Hey lad. Did yer Uncle Bobby fall asleep?" Chibs asked peering over at his sleeping _brother._

Mason wrapped his arms tight around Chibs one of his little hands reaching up to toy with Chibs' hair. "Uh huh. He snores loud."

Chibs chuckled at the comment not helping but to agree. Bobby sounded like a lawnmower. "And what are ya doin up my wee night owl?"

"Uncle Bobby was going to let me watch one more cartoon before bedtime, but he fell asleep." Mason explained his fingers still twisting around Chibs' hair.

Chibs chuckled at the tiny action. The boy had been begging Molly and Chibs to fix his hair just like _Daddy Chibs. _It seemed that the child wanted to be just like him in every way.

Molly however wasn't too big on the idea of putting pomade in the boy's dark hair every single morning knowing very well she'd have to negotiate with him for bathtime to get the pomade out every single night. Little boy's weren't exactly huge on bathtime.

"Where's yer ma?" Chibs asked his stomach rolling as he realized she was no where in sight.

Mason let out a tiny sigh a frown appearing on his face as he replied. "We were watching TV while we ate pizza and a commercial made her cry. So she decided to go to bed. Uncle Bobby gave her one of the brownies with caramel to make her feel better."

Chibs nodded his head his heart twisting at this explanation. He had a feeling there was only one type of commercial that could upset Molly; something to do with babies.

She hadn't even been able to step into the nursery since she'd gotten back home.

He gritted his jaw cursing Jax for forcing him to go on that waste of a run once again. He should have been here for his old lady. Molly was falling to pieces and she needed him.

He had a feeling that the brownie Molly had been given was one of Bobby's _special_ baked goods.

Bobby had been smart enough to add caramel to the pot brownies knowing that Mason would stay far away from them; the little boy despised caramel. He hated the way it stuck to his teeth.

Chibs had no doubt that Bobby had been smart enough to bring over a batch of _safe _plain brownies for Mason, just to ensure that the boy stayed out of trouble.

Mason was quick to speak up again the frown disappearing his eyes widening a tiny bit. "Will mommy be mad that I stayed up late? I was going to go to bed when I was suppose to but Uncle Bobby wouldn't wake up. I'm sorry."

"It's okay lad. I aint mad at ya. And I know yer ma won't be either." Chibs reassured him not surprised to hear the worry in Mason's voice.

It was just another sign of how delicate Mason was. Brian Parker really had done damage to the child; making him second guess every move he made. Lord knows how many times the bastard had scolded the boy for things that were probably not even his fault.

He pressed a kiss to Mason's cheek as he spoke again. "Come on let's get ya to bed."

He made his way upstairs carefully not willing to put the little boy down just yet.

Chibs entered the boy's room flipping on the light switch, relieved to see that Mason had kept it clean. The last thing he needed was to trip over some toy while carrying the child.

He managed to knock the cat Pixie out of Mason's bed the white cat glaring up at him the black in her green eyes narrowing. He still couldn't stand the damn cat. The only reason he tolerated the cat was because Molly adored her so much.

He placed Mason in bed the little boy reluctantly letting go of him. He wasn't surprised as Mason clutched onto Max his beloved stuffed penguin.

Chibs pressed multiple kisses to Mason's cheeks and forehead causing the boy to giggle. Chibs tucked Mason's Spiderman comforter around him as he spoke. "Now ya get ta bed. Tomorrow when ya get up we'll make yer ma french toast."

"With bananas?" Mason asked his eyes already getting heavy.

"Aye with lots of em and powdered sugar." Chibs agreed as he reached down smoothing the boy's messy hair out.

He felt his heart twist once again as Mason became a little more alert his voice suddenly taking a serious tone. "Is mommy sad because she misses the baby?"

Chibs felt his breath catch in his throat at this tiny statement. How could one little sentence make him feel like someone had stabbed him in the heart with an ice pick.

He pushed back the desire to just let himself fall apart as he forced himself to speak. "Aye she misses the baby a lot lad."

"Do you miss the baby too?" Mason asked struggling so hard to stay awake his mind filled with so many little questions.

Chibs felt that ice pick dig into his heart even farther as he managed to speak. "Aye I do."

Mason nodded his head snuggling his penguin even tighter. "Me too...The baby probably misses us too...even though we never got to meet it... is it happy in heaven?"

Chibs took a deep breath finding it so difficult not to fall completely apart. He held it together reminding himself that this was a conversation Mason needed to have with someone.

This was all part of the grieving process. The child needed to know that it was okay to talk about being sad. He needed to know that it was going to be okay.

He knew Molly wasn't stable enough to have this talk with Mason. Chibs knew he needed to take this on for her.

"Aye I bet the baby misses us a lot. I'm sure it's happy. Yer ma's da and my ma are probably takin real good care of it." Chibs assured the boy not helping but to pray that his assurances were all true.

"I don't like it when Mommy is sad." Mason mumbled his eyes growing heavier and heavier.

"Aye me either sweet lad. We're goin to take care of her though jus me and you." Chibs promised Mason as the boy finally drifted off to sleep.

Chibs stayed knelt beside the boy for a long while after Mason had fallen asleep. He allowed his mind to drift over all that had taken place these past few weeks.

Killing Brian Parker hadn't alleviated any of the pain Molly felt and it hadn't made Chibs' anger disappear.

The only thing that relieved Chibs was knowing that the bastard would never have a chance to hurt Molly or Mason ever again.

Chibs knew that eventually Brian's family would realize the man was missing. Chibs just hoped that they stayed in the dark about what had really happened to Brian.

As far as anyone could know Brian had just disappeared in thin air.

Chibs pressed a kiss to Mason's forehead as he spoke again needing to say the words. "We'll be okay I promise ya. I've made sure that ya and yer ma are never goin to hurt again. I'm goin to take care of ya. I promise a leanbh."

Chibs left Mason's bedroom and shut off the overhead light after turning on the rocket ship nightlight. He made sure to leave the bedroom door cracked knowing that both the dogs had a tendency of milling in and out of the child's room during the night.

He made his way back downstairs to the living room rolling his eyes at the sight of the still slumbering Bobby.

He went over to the coffee table grabbing a hold of the remote and shutting the television off before tossing the remote on the sofa.

He hesitantly made his way over to Bobby shaking the man on the shoulder before jumping back out of reach.

He hopped out of reach just in time as Bobby awoke swinging his fists ready to fight off an intruder.

Once Bobby became aware of his surroundings his fists finally lowered. He frowned up at Chibs letting out a sleepy huff as he spoke. "What time is it?"

"Two thirty." Chibs replied nodding over to the clock on the dvd player proving his statement.

"Shit...Mason was still up when you got here?" Bobby asked as he reached up running his hands along his eyes trying to wipe the sleep from them.

Chibs nodded his head as he spoke. "Aye. He probably won't be goin to school tomorrow."

Bobby cringed at this statement. He knew for a fact that Mason was struggling in school as it was. All the stress of the past few weeks had been hard on the kid. That along with his math issues was making it tough for him to keep up with the other kids.

Molly had spent these past few days trying to find a tutor for the little boy so he wouldn't be held back in the first grade.

Bobby spoke up as he tried to adjust himself in the recliner as he spoke up quick to apologize. "Sorry. I meant to get the kid to sleep but I guess I fell asleep first."

"It's alrigh...How's Molly? I heard she had a tough night." Chibs replied hating to ask. He knew he had to know though, he needed to hear it.

"She's been real quiet...She seems gloomy. She hasn't said much. She spends a lot of time with Mason you know, playing with him. She's been hovering over him a little kind of like she's afraid he'll disappear if he gets out of her sight for even a second. We were watching some kids movie with Mason and she saw some commercial for diapers...hit her hard. I sent her up to bed with a brownie." Bobby explained being honest.

After seeing Molly sob tonight he'd understood just why Chibs had asked him to stay with Molly and Mason this week while he was on a run in Oregon.

Bobby had a feeling that it would be a long while before Chibs' old lady was back to her old self.

Chibs nodded his head that stabbing feeling in his heart returning. He took a deep breath as he spoke up. "Thanks brother. Feel free ta sleep here tonigh."

Bobby nodded his head letting out a heavy sigh as he watched Chibs leave the room disappearing back upstairs.

He frowned wanting to say something, but what could he say really?

Molly hadn't been the only one to lose that baby. He couldn't help but to wonder how long it would take for Chibs to fall apart.

* * *

><p>Chibs entered Molly and his bedroom his body finally realizing just how tired it really was.<p>

He still had to completely love their bedroom; the one sapphire accent wall behind the bed, the big king sized bed, the family photos above the bed, and the soft gray rug over the dark wood floors. He loved that the room always smelled like vanilla.

He loved that his old lady had created their home. It was the first time in such a long while since he'd had a place that he considered a real home.

He always found himself feeling totally relaxed the second he walked into the bedroom.

Chibs stared at Molly's sleeping form in the center of their bed his heart twisting again. She looked tiny curled up in their bed in one of his old t shirts.

The shirt was from when he was a bit heavier it was a somewhat worn out long sleeved purple shirt. He hadn't worn it in years. Molly must have dug out of the bottom of his dresser.

The pot brownie Bobby had given her sat half eaten on the bedside table.

Chibs wasted no time to kick his boots and socks off as he made his way over to the dresser. He removed his rings lining them up along the dresser just as he usually did every night.

He placed his kutte and all his weapons along side the rings before he chucked all of his clothing off tossing it in the wicker laundry basket by the closet.

He manged to slip on a clean pair of black cotton boxer briefs before he finally made it to Molly and his bed.

Molly awoke as she felt the bed shift beside her. She peered up at Chibs through heavy eyes as she spoke up a tiny smile on her face. "Hey."

He returned her smile his a bit tighter and sleepier. "Hey sweet lass."

"When did you get home?" She asked turning over on to her back the pot brownie she'd eaten before she'd fallen asleep still making her feel relaxed.

"Jus now. Bobby's sleepin downstairs. I figured we'd let him spend the nigh and hope that it would maybe butter him up enough to make him want to make us breakfast." Chibs replied as he reached down pushing a few stray locks of her honey blonde hair off her forehead.

She let out a drowsy laugh as she responded to him. "He's been doing all the cooking. I'm going to get fat if he keeps it up."

"Impossible." Chibs remarked as he settled into bed beside her relaxing underneath the heavy gray comforter.

He snuggled close to her his arm encircling her waist careful to not put any pressure on her fractured ribs. Her ribs wouldn't heal for about six weeks.

She turned to face him her hand reaching out to caress his cheek. "How'd the run go?"

Chibs let out a tired huff as he replied. "Na well...guns are still on SAMCRO."

Molly nodded her head the realization that things hadn't gone the way Chibs had been hoping they would making her feel anxious.

She knew from hearing Chibs talk that the gun trade was so dangerous. It was getting the Sons killed.

Chibs leaned against Molly's hand her touch soothing his worry filled mind.

He took a deep breath hating to ask but he knew they needed to talk about this. "Bobby and Mason said ya had a tough nigh?"

Molly let out a soft sigh her throat growing tight as she thought to her tears earlier that night. "I saw a commercial...for diapers. You know that really annoying one where the babies are clapping along to if your happy and you know it? I guess it was just seeing all those babies and thinking about diapers...It just hurt."

She paused her eyes growing a little misty. "I didn't mean to fall apart like that...Mason didn't...he didn't take it hard right? I never wanted him to see me like that. He's scared...and I didn't want to make him feel worse."

Chibs reached out wiping her tears as he spoke. "Oh a thaisce. Mason is okay. It's okay to fall apart lass. Yer a human bein. Mason needs to know that ya aren't made of stone."

He pressed a soft kiss to her damp cheeks as he spoke again. "I know ya've been havin a hard time Molly. I have been too. I was out on my bike when I was up in Oregon and I passed the grocery store...I saw this ma...she was with her kids a little lass and a baby boy. She was puttin her baby in a stroller and I...It hurt seein her...seein that baby. It didn't look all that old...jus a newborn."

Molly closed her eyes his words making that pain deep inside of her grow. The pain had been there since the doctors had told her that she'd miscarried and as hard as she tried she just couldn't push it back.

She wrapped her arms around Chibs everything within her hurting. It felt as though it stung and ached just being in her own skin.

"I just want our baby." Molly stated her voice so weak.

"I know. Me too." Chibs said holding her tighter against him.

He did his best to rock her against him as she finally allowed herself to let it all out. He closed his eyes his own tears finally falling.

This was the first time he'd allowed himself to cry since that night in the hospital; the night he'd first found out that their wee love was no more.

He didn't speak again for a long while until a sudden thought entered his mind. "How bout we get away from this all Molly. Go somewhere fer Christmas...just me, you and Mason. It'll be good fer us...a vacation. I promised I'd take ya somewhere one day...any place ya want to go."

"Where would we go?...I mean I can you even get away from the club for a trip?" Molly asked her mind so thankful to have something else to focus on.

Chibs let out a heavy sigh as he searched his mind for the perfect place. They needed somewhere familiar; somewhere to heal, somewhere that would be good for Molly.

He frowned as he realized the perfect place; Louisiana.

It might not be such a wise idea showing up in New Orleans so close to all that had happened with Brian Parker.

Chibs knew though that Molly and Mason needed this. They needed to go back to where it all began.

"Aye I can get away. Jax'll have ta understand that we need this...we can go see yer family in New Orleans...ya can show me all those things ya've been wantin to show me...yer grandma's house, yer favorite restaurant. We can have a big family Christmas. We can go get a tree and ya and yer Nana Rose can make dinner...we can drive out there...like a family roadtrip...I've never taken a roadtrip...well a roadtrip in a car at least...This will be good fer us lass. We can clear our heads, get away from all the shite goin on here." Chibs stated knowing that despite the risk this would be perfect for Molly and Mason.

And Chibs could admit that he wanted this. He wanted this family Christmas he was telling Molly about.

He wanted so badly to see the place his old lady had been raised, the place his boy had been born.

"Are you sure...I mean are you sure it's safe...after everything." Molly asked torn about this idea.

Part of her wanted so badly to visit her family back home. She wanted to show Chibs this part of herself. She wanted to have to have the holiday Chibs was describing.

She knew that he was right a trip to New Orleans would be good for the three of them.

Molly couldn't lie though she was afraid of what might be waiting for them in New Orleans. The Parker family would connect Brian's disappearance to her.

She was afraid of what the Parker's would do if they figured out the truth.

"Ya know I'd never let anyone hurt ya or Mason lass...never again. Yer family too. I'm goin to protect my family. We're goin to have a good holiday. It'll be perfect I promise ya." Chibs assured her just happy to see that she was no longer crying.

He spoke again knowing just what he could say to completely sell her on this idea. "Besides ya and Rose need ta get started on that wedding dress. Gotta get ready fer this summer."

She gave him a soft smile his words soothing her. She knew he was right they really needed this.

Molly was beginning to realize that at twenty seven years old she had no idea who in the hell she was. She'd spent six years of her life married to a abusive son of a bitch who had molded her into his ideal wife.

She had never had much of an identity outside of being Brian Parker's wife.

Hell she'd barely known who she was before she had met Brian. She had never had much of a chance to find her way. Her childhood; the loss of her beloved father, her depression; it had created a scared little girl susceptible to a monster like Brian.

She'd spent most of her life being that scared little girl.

She had been through so much in the past few months; escaping the marriage from hell, falling in love, losing a baby, and killing a man. She felt her stomach churn at that last thought; she'd killed Marcus Morris in self defense, but still she had killed him; shot him dead.

Molly took a deep breath knowing that she couldn't change the past.

She would find herself; or at least she hoped she would.

Molly wanted to know just who she was outside of being Mason's mother and Chibs' old lady.

New Orleans would be just the place to find that out, or to at least begin to find it. After all it was where her life had begun; where this all had begun.

She just prayed that when she came to understand just who she really was that she would like the person she'd become.

Going to New Orleans would be a good start to discovering just who Molly Dupuis truly was.

Molly wouldn't lie the idea of this trip excited her. Molly knew that she was just like any other girl on the planet; wedding talk got her excited. She wouldn't miss the chance to make her dream wedding gown for anything. "Okay."

Most importantly of all Molly knew she was done letting fear rule her. She had lived for years in fear of Brian Parker and his family.

She was finished with that way of living.

They would go to New Orleans and they'd have the good time Chibs was promising. If Molly was sure of one thing it was that no one was going to come near her family.

That was that they were going to New Orleans.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews? Constructive Criticism?<em>

_A Leanbh= (Scottish Gaelic) Little One or Baby_

_A Thaisce= (Irish Gaelic) My Treasure_


	2. In Her Corner

Chibs awoke the next morning early just as the sun began to rise it leaking in through the soft gray curtains slowly lighting up their bedroom. He'd long ago trained himself to wake up before his alarm ever had a chance to go off. He seemed to awake early even on the mornings he didn't set his alarm now.

He let out a heavy sigh the scent of Molly's apple scented shampoo hitting his nose. She'd turned away from him in her sleep and her body was now nestled close against his her back to him. He tightened his grip on her his arms resting protective around her waist as he struggled to fall back to sleep.

After a few minutes of failing to fall back to sleep he managed to peer over her sleeping form and take in the bright red numbers on the alarm clock; six am. He let out a huff as he fell back against his pillows knowing that it was far too early to be awake especially after days of uneasy rest on a run.

He should be sleeping in and enjoying a lazy morning, but he found himself lying here far too awake his brain far too wired up to rest.

After talking to Bobby the night before Chibs was so worried for his Molly. He adored the woman and knowing that she was struggling through this all pained him.

He was drowning in guilt over not being there for his old lady and _their _boy when they'd needed him so badly.

Yes he had left Bobby there knowing that the man was gentle enough to provide Molly with the support she needed, but that wasn't enough. Chibs knew that she had needed him.

He only hoped that going to New Orleans for Christmas break would help Molly begin to heal. She needed to find someway to begin to move past this.

Chibs knew that if she didn't find a way to move forward with her life it would destroy her. And if she were to destroy herself Chibs knew that he would soon follow there after.

Chibs frowned staring back over to his old lady as Molly turned over onto her back and let out a soft whine a frown appearing on her face. She grimaced her whimpers growing louder as whatever nightmare she was locked in began to intensify.

Chibs felt his heart ache at the sight though this wasn't anything new. Molly had struggled with nightmares through out their relationship. It was just a side effect of years spent married to her abusive bastard of an ex husband.

Chibs reached out placing a gentle hand against her cheek in an attempt to soothe her. "It's okay lass. It's jus a dream. It's only a dream, jus relax."

His consoling did little to relieve her Molly's whimpers only growing more distressed.

Chibs wasn't shocked as Molly jerked out of his grasp her body shooting upright into a seating position as she finally awoke.

Molly gasped as she attempted to catch her breath and calm her rapid heart rate. Her wide eyes scanned the room as she became aware of her surroundings slowly becoming aware that she was in fact awake and safe in her bedroom.

She fell back against the pillows her breathing still so uneven. She reached up grasping onto the silver necklace she'd forgotten to take off before she went to bed. It was a tiny silver horseshoe hanging from a thin chain.

Her brother had given her the necklace as a little good luck charm when she had graduated from high school years ago. It was still a cherished piece of jewelry to Molly though the cheap metal had long ago began to oxidize and turn a little greenish.

She turned her head to face Chibs her voice sounding tiny and weak as she spoke. "Did I wake you?"

"Nah I was already up." Chibs assured her as he reached out running a hand through her hair frowning as he noticed just how clammy she'd become. She had broken out into an icy sweat.

They laid in silence for a long moment Molly struggling to regain control of her breathing and Chibs silently stroking her hair and her skin doing all he could to comfort her.

Chibs was the one to finally break the silence as he spoke up. "Bad dream?"

"Yeah." Molly replied her voice cracking as she thought back to that horrible nightmare. No dream had ever felt so real before and she'd had plenty of bad ones throughout the years.

She felt her eyes begin to water and she damned the stupid tears. She was so sick and tired of crying all the time.

Chibs wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her against him. He pressed soft kisses along her jawline to her lips as he spoke. "Talk to me lass. Let me help ya."

Molly did her best to blink back her tears as she spoke up recalling her dream. "The dream started out so nice. I was out in the backyard with Mason. He was playing on the swingset and laughing...Moose was out running around barking at him and they were having so much fun. The sun was shining and it was so gorgeous out. I was over by the wooden fence you had the prospects rebuild when we first moved in. I was working on that little patch of land we've been talking about me turning into a veggie garden this summer. I was digging around in the dirt and pulling weeds when...when this hand reached up and grabbed a hold of my wrist."

Molly paused letting out a shaky breath as she turned her eyes from Chibs. She felt so stupid talking about the dream out-loud. It sounded so dumb, but had scared her so much. "I got my wrist free and I was scrambling backwards on the ground... trying to get away...And another hand popped up and it began to dig free from the earth...And when it finally broke free from the garden it was Marcus Morris...He was pale and his lips were blue...there was..there was still a gunshot wound in his forehead where I shot him..his head was caved in. There were flies and maggots all around his mouth and his eyes...he was so...so horrible looking...like something that had walked out of a horror movie. He started to crawl towards me when he spoke...he told me that he already took our baby and now he was going to take our other baby...he was crawling towards Mason and I couldn't get up...I was stuck to the ground and all I could keep thinking was that I had to get to my baby before Marcus took him away too."

She paused again shaking her head as more tears fell. She spoke a frown on her face. "That's when I woke up...it's dumb I know...I mean it's really a stupid nightmare...but it just felt so real. It all felt so lifelike and It terrified me."

Chibs shook his head as he pressed another soft kiss to Molly's lips. "It's not stupid a thaisce. Yer a ma love. Of course anything threatin our baby would scare ya. Jus like anything threatin our kids would scare me. It's all jus parta being good parents ya know...bein afraid. Ya've been through so much Molly, we both have. Yer goin to have nightmares...it's a natural part of movin past it."

He placed a hand against her cheek stroking the skin as he spoke up again his voice weaker than he'd ever allow it to be in front of anyone else but Molly. "I never wanted this fer ya lass...killin Marcus Morris...I never wanted ya to know how it felt to kill. I'm so sorry Molly. I shoulda been there fer ya. I should have been there to protect ya from havin to do that."

Molly wrapped her arms around him embracing him needing his touch so badly. He ran the hand that had been pressed to her cheek through her long hair straightening out the bedhead and tangles.

She spoke up peering up at him. "I didn't have a choice...I mean I know I had no choice but to kill him. It was either me or him. I don't feel the way I think I should feel about it though."

"How do ya think ya should feel?" Chibs asked knowing that they needed to have this talk. Surely he knew more than anyone how it felt to take a life.

He had done that and more for both the IRA and the club. He knew what it felt like to kill.

Molly let out a heavy sigh as she spoke knowing that she needed this. She needed to pour out everything she'd been feeling these past few weeks to him. He loved her and he would understand. "I don't feel guilty...not really. Like I said I know that it was self defense. I keep having these nightmares about him though...I keep thinking back to that night...how he looked lying there bleeding out into that nasty motel carpet. It's just knowing... it's the knowledge that I took a life I mean...I keep thinking that no matter how bad of a person Marcus was...he was someones baby...and now his mom is probably wondering where he is...worrying. I keep thinking that if I were her...that it would kill me to lose my son... to never know the truth about what happened to him...it would destroy me if anyone killed Mason and I didn't even have a body to bury or a grave to put flowers on."

She paused a frown on her face as she admitted her darkest thought. "Sometimes I think that maybe God punished me for killing Marcus you know? I mean I lost my baby...I lost our baby. I loved and wanted that baby so badly. It was taken from me just like I took Marcus from his mom...It just makes knowing that I lost the baby worse...thinking I deserved it."

Chibs let out a shaky breath not expecting her pain to be this deep. Yes he'd known she would experience some guilt.

He had expected post traumatic stress disorder. Lord knows Molly already had some ptsd from being trapped in an abusive marriage for so long.

The trauma of taking a life could only add on to that ptsd.

He hadn't expected her to rationalize her guilt this way though; to think that her miscarriage had been some punishment for taking a life.

Chibs spoke up trying to make his voice firm without it sounding harsh. "Ya didn't deserve that lass...I don't know bout ya, but I don't think I believe in a God who would punish anyone that way...I don't think a good God would be so cruel. Ya don't deserve any punishment Molly. Marcus Morris was a sick bastard. He was jus as sick as Brian Parker."

Molly felt her stomach roll a chill running through her body at the mention of her ex husband's name.

Chibs spoke again as he pressed a soft kiss to Molly's lips. "Don't let yerself ever think ya could deserve that kinda pain a thaisce. Yer the sweetest most incredible woman I know. Ya never deserved any kinda pain."

He continued to hold her against him as he spoke up again needing to change the subject. "I love ya so damn much Molly. I missed ya like crazy all week long. I hate sleepin in bed without ya."

"I love you too...I missed you...both of us did. Mason asked me every morning when he woke up and every night when he went to bed when you were coming home. Bobby did good keeping him distracted though. Mason had fun helping Bobby out in the kitchen...Bobby taught him to make a grilled cheese. Bobby pushed Mason out on the swing for hours...even when his arms got tired." Molly explained a soft smile on her face as she recalled Mason's adventures in the kitchen and Bobby helping her keep the boy entertained and out of trouble.

Uncle Bobby was quickly becoming one of Mason's favorite people right under Chibs of course, Juice, and strangly enough Happy.

It was clear to Molly that these men Chibs shared a patch with where easily becoming an important fixture in Mason's life. It was something that both pleased and worried Molly.

She loved Chibs' _brothers _but a tiny part of her feared the life they represented. She had a feeling this little conflict within her would never disappear.

She knew that she would just have to learn to shove it away. If she wanted to keep her relationship with Chibs going strong then she would have to learn to push through these inner conflicts.

She paused giving him a weak half smile as she spoke up again. "Mason misses you so much when you're gone...He worries about you...asks all sorts of questions. I don't know how much longer the whole you being gone on an adventure lie will work."

"Aye I know lass. I hate knowin that he's goin to know the truth bout me one day." Chibs replied his throat tightening up at the thought of Mason knowing just who his beloved _daddy chibs _really was.

"I'm so sorry I had ta leave so soon after all that's happened...I didn't want ta go on that damn run. I shouldn't have gone." Chibs blurted out feeling the need to alleviate the guilt he felt over this all. He needed to let her know just how horrible he felt; just how much he had hated leaving her alone when she'd needed him the most.

Molly shrugged her shoulders pulling out of his grasp as she rolled over on to her back. "It's fine...I mean I know how it is...how it would be when we fell in love. The club comes first."

Chibs cringed at this reaction. He wouldn't claim to be a genius when it came to women but he knew that when the word _fine_ was uttered from a woman's lips it actually meant _I'm__ so far from fine._

He was unable to stop the guilt from washing over at him at her statement. _The Club Comes First. _

What kind of shitty fiancee was he? _The Club Comes First. _

Shouldn't Molly come first? She was the woman he loved; the woman who he wanted to build a life and a family with. She was the one he had killed to protect; the one he would kill for again and again as long as it meant keeping her safe.

Of course Chibs knew he had his loyalties to the club, to his brothers. He'd always been comfortable in that knowledge. He was a _Son _for life.

What was he to do if it came between his family within SAMCRO and his actual family though? How could he balance the two?

What would he do if there was no way of balancing it all? What would he choose?

If he was ever to walk away from SAMCRO what would he even do? Would he continue to be a mechanic? Would that be enough to take care of his family?

He had been an outlaw most of his life in one way or another. What else was there for him?

He knew deep down inside that he'd failed to balance these two parts of his world already; choosing to listen to Jax and go on that run up to Oregon when he should have been here. He had failed.

_The Club Comes First. _How could one little statement shatter Chibs' heart so easily?

He placed a hand on her cheek getting her to turn to face him as he spoke up needing to smooth this over so badly. "That's bullshite lass. Ya come first Molly. Ya and Mason an Kerrianne always."

Molly let out a sigh wanting to press the issue. She couldn't get these thought out of her head. It was as though her mind was a big twisted mess and the only way to truly sort it out was to speak her mind to Chibs.

She turned back to face him unable to stop herself from speaking. "I need to know that we'll be safe Filip."

"Of course ya will Molly. Ya know I'd never let anything happen to ya or Mason...I'm not goin to let anyone hurt my family ever again." Chibs replied his hand moving down to rest against the small of her back.

Molly frowned shaking her head as she clarified what she had meant. "That's not what I mean...I mean all of us. Our family Mason, me, Kerrianne, and you...I need to know that we're going to be safe."

She paused wanting to get this out in the open. She spoke again explaining herself farther. "I've just been thinking a lot...we've been through so much baby. It scares me to think that there could be more...if not from my life then from the club...I need to know that no matter what we're going to be safe."

"We are Molly. I promise ya." Chibs replied his heart twisting at her words. She had a point and he knew it.

His life was a dangerous one. Who was to say though that he could always guarantee that his life wouldn't hurt them somehow? Were his promises empty?

Molly spoke up needing so badly to make one thing very clear. "I lost my father Filip. I wasn't much older than Mason is now. I never want that pain for Mason. I loved my father so much and losing him hurt so terribly. When I look at Mason and you I see me and my dad...If Mason...if we ever lost you. It would break us Filip. I don't want Mason to live his life knowing that the dad he loved so much is gone. I don't want him to be like me...to spend his life wondering what if...walking around with this big hole inside of him knowing that his dad died way too soon."

She paused her eyes threatening to water again as she made her point. "I have to know that at the end of the day Mason and I are your first priority."

"You are lass. Of course ya are." Chibs stated his heart twisting so much that it felt as though it would eventually twist so tight that it would shatter.

He had never been so torn over anything. He knew he couldn't walk away from the club, but he also know he couldn't lose his family.

He'd already lost one family when Fiona and Kerrianne had been ripped from him. He couldn't lose another family.

Chibs took a deep breath clarity hitting him hard. He knew just what had to be said.

He pressed a kiss to her lips as he spoke up again knowing that he had to make it all clear to her; he had to make her understand just what Mason and she meant to him. "Ya remember that talk we had the night ya found out ya were pregnant...how I promised ya I'd do anything fer ya...that I'd give up anything fer ya. I meant it love. If it comes down to it I'm going to put ya and Mason first. Don't ever doubt my love fer our family Molly. Tell me what ya need from me."

Molly nodded her head relief flooding her body. She spoke up as she kissed his lips moving over to his cheeks wanting to kiss every inch of him. "I'm not asking you to leave the club...I know that it would kill you to leave...you love those men. They're your brothers and I wouldn't ask you to leave that...I just need to know that if it came down to it...that if it ever became all too much for us...if it was destroying us, that you would choose our family. I need to know that we have a way out, a way to survive...I know that sounds horrible. I know how loyal you are. I love how you're so willing to be there to support the ones you love. It's one of the things I love about you, but I have to know there's a way to stay alive for us."

Chibs nodded his head his lips brushing against hers. "There will be a thaisce. If it ever came down to it I'd always pick our family."

She nodded her head so thankful that this hadn't exploded on her. She knew how sensitive this issue was for him.

She knew though that their relationship could never survive unless she knew he would always be in her corner even when it came to SAMCRO.

Chibs allowed her to continue kissing him a sense of contentment overtaking him. He knew that she was right.

Mason and she had to be his number one priority, Kerrianne as well. They were his family at the end of the day. He would be lost and so empty without them.

Before Mason and Molly he would have never even once dreamed over walking away from SAMCRO.

After all it would have been perfectly easy for him to walk away from SAMCRO after he had been reunited with Fiona and Kerrianne.

It would have been easy for him to stay in Belfast with his then wife and his child. He had gone back to Charming though. He had chosen his loyalties to his brothers though knowing that Fiona and he wouldn't work together after being estranged for so long.

He knew that this situation was entirely different though. Molly was going to be his wife and Mason would legally be his son if the adoption plans were successful. Molly and he had dreams of having a family. They had dreams of having a future together full of years and years of happiness.

Chibs hoped that he would never have to do what they were discussing; that he would never have to leave the MC, leave the life.

He knew that Molly was right though. She needed to know that if it came down to it that he was in her corner.

After everything Molly had been through; the pain and the fear, she needed to know that her man had her back.

Chibs would expect that Molly would give him the same if he were ever to ask her. After all wasn't she already doing that; trusting him, trusting the clublife. She was stepping away from a chance of having a safe normal life. She was trusting her love for him. Surely he should trust his love for her as well if the time came for him to step away from this world.

Chibs knew that despite all these worries rolling around in his brain that he loved Molly. Being with her helped him pull his overworked brain away from worrying about the club.

He loved his old lady more than anything. He knew that most of the guys in the club would probably be quick to tell him that old ladies came and went.

He knew though that he couldn't buy into that logic with Molly. Molly wasn't going anywhere as long as he played his cards right.

He was so eternally grateful for all the things Molly had given him. She had given him so much; a little boy who adored him, a joyful loving home, a life away from all the pain, chaos, and violence that came with the MC.

She had given him the last thing he believed he would never be able experience again; the love of a family. With Molly and Mason Chibs finally felt as though he had the promise of having himself a loving family once again; just the four of them Molly, Mason, Kerrianne, and him.

Because of this Chibs loved Molly. He knew that he would do absolutely anything for her and their family. How could anything ever come before them?

They continued to kiss as Chibs rolled her over on to her back. He was suddenly overtaken with the need to make love to her; to show her just how dear she was to him.

He wanted so badly to remind Molly that despite the heartache they were both feeling, that it was possible to still feel good making love. He wanted to give his sweet thaisce that feeling of safety that she had always told him overtook her when they made love.

He moved over her his lips brushing along her jawline, her cheeks, her ears, as he moved downwards to her neck. He loved the feel of her soft skin against his chapped lips. He loved the way she would smile and arch against his touch. She was so damn sensitive and it never failed to turn him on immensely.

She gasped as he ground against her the feel of him clear through his boxers. He grunted his member slowly coming to life. He moaned knowing that she was wearing one of his favorite pairs of panties to see on her; a thin pink cotton little number that made her bottom look so incredible; so plump and so firm.

Chibs knew that he would always consider himself a _breast man, _but Molly's pale gorgeous bottom was enough to make him consider being an _ass man_.

He was tempted to roll her over just so he could give that perfect ass of hers a few smacks. He was so tempted to spank her until her bottom was just as rosy as her panties. He had to moan at the thought; spanking her as he reached down an played with her wet hot pussy. God she turned him on so much.

He held back though knowing that she needed him to be gentle with her right now. Spanking would have to wait for a different day.

He pressed several kisses to her neck so overtaken by just how much he adored the sweet woman below him. He was so taken with the notion that she wanted him; him the streetrat from Glasgow, the no good dirty biker.

He spoke in between each kiss his voice thick with passion. "Yer so gorgeous...my perfect love...My everything...God I love ya."

She giggled at the feel of his facial hair against her skin. She ran her hand through his hair messing his shaggy locks as he continued to nibble at her neck. "I love you too baby...my sweet perfect man."

She whined as he stopped grinding against her the wonderful friction they'd been building up coming to a sudden stop.

She was quickly distracted though as he moved down her body his hands pushing the tshirt she was wearing up and off her body allowing his lips to press against her skin.

He spoke his breath hot against the valley between her breasts. "I love it when ya wear my shirts."

She smiled up at him as his hands traced her skin. "I love wearing them. I found that shirt at the bottom of your dresser when I was doing laundry and I couldn't resist. I missed you...It smelled like you and it helped me sleep at night."

He grinned as she reached down running her hand along his face caressing him. He turned pressing a kiss to her wrist as he spoke up. "I missed ya too lass so much. If I'd known ya were wearing that I would've gotten here a whole lot sooner."

He pressed his lips back to her skin his lips grazing along that pale valley moving downwards avoiding her breasts for now. He wanted to kiss every inch of her before he gave into the pleasure of feeling her full breasts underneath his lips and his eager tongue.

He reached her stomach falling easily into a habit he'd developed of kissing her stomach lovingly his hands caressing it. He was stunned as Molly yanked away from him her body going rigid.

He pulled his lips back his stomach sinking as he spotted the look on Molly's face; there was a distinct pain in her eyes. Chibs cursed himself quickly realizing what he'd done wrong.

He'd so lovingly kissed her belly just as he'd kissed it when their baby still resided inside of it.

Molly was quick to speak up so embarrassed that she'd freaked out on him. She'd killed the mood without even having to say a word. "I'm sorry. It's just you kissing me there...I'm still just...I feel so empty when I think about...that part of my body and.."

Chibs moved back up her body his arms wrapping around he waist as he interrupted her. "It's okay Molly. Don't be sorry love."

Molly shook her head rolling her eyes a bit. "I shouldn't panic when you kiss my stomach. I'm such an idiot."

"Yer jus healin lass..yer grievin. We both are." Chibs replied as he moved off of her settling down close beside her instead.

Molly turned to face him her lips falling into a grimace. "You aren't upset with me...I mean we haven't had sex since...before this all happened."

He pressed a kiss to her nose moving down to her lips as he spoke soothing her worries. "Of course I'm not upset lass. We'll figure it out."

She nodded her head relieved to know that she hadn't created any tension between them with their earlier conversation and this little freakout of hers.

She gave him a smile as she spoke trying to lighten the mood. "How'd I get such a sweet guy?"

"That's my line lass...well the sweet part." He remarked chuckling at her statement as he reached down pulling the comforter back over them making the space around them so warm and cozy.

He pressed kisses along her temple doing his best to capture that lazy morning he'd wanted so badly.

She let out a soft giggle all the tension fading from her body as he kissed her. She curled up close to him her hand tracing the five dollar bill tattoo at the center of his chest as she spoke. "We'll be okay right?"

"Aye We'll be okay." Chibs replied hoping he was right.

They had to find a way to make it through this. After all they had been through they deserved to be happy.

* * *

><p>Chibs pulled his bike into the parking lot in front of TM Auto and the clubhouse. His mind was chalk full of worries especially after Molly's and his conversation this morning.<p>

Though it had been a complicated subject he was relieved to know that this was all out in the open, that they had an understanding.

He knew that for their relationship to last they needed communication. They needed to be able to talk about their fears and worries no matter how uncomfortable the conversation would be.

Chibs knew that without communication he would lose Molly. She had to know that she could open up to him.

Molly had to know that she could express her worries to him without fearing that it would anger him.

He knew that Molly had never really had that before; a relationship where communicating and working together was possible. Brian had never given Molly the chance to be open with him. Any time she'd expressed something that was upsetting her with Brian it would be rewarded by a slap or a punch or just some cruel words.

Chibs knew that it was so important for Molly to realize that it would never be that way with him. He would always do his best to listen to her and try to understand even if he found her concerns to be a bit painful or upsetting to him.

Chibs hated to admit that he was always so afraid of somehow fucking up and losing Molly. He knew how wonderful she really was; how smart, how sweet, and how beautiful.

Any man would be lucky to have her. Chibs knew that Molly could probably do a hell of a lot better than him.

Molly could very easily find a nice normal guy who worked an average nine to five job and coached little league on the weekends. She had chosen him though. She had given him her love and Chibs never wanted her to regret this choice.

He hoped that getting away from all this chaos for a while would do Molly and he some good.

They needed to go somewhere to heal; somewhere to find themselves amongst all the heartache they both felt.

Chibs made his way over to the bar taking a quick shot of tequila the burn of the liquor feeling good given his current mood.

He shifted his eyes around the clubhouse not surprised to see that it was practically vacant at this hour of the morning.

It was just the environment he'd been hoping for. He had skipped out on breakfast this morning after promising Mason that he would be back in time for lunch where they would have the french toast he'd promised then.

Chibs wanted to get to Jax early; to try his best to explain why he needed two weeks away at the end of the month.

Chibs knew Jax always came to the clubhouse early on Thursday. The man always showed up and went straight to the chapel to get everything he would need for tomorrows chapel meeting, together

Chibs knew he needed to speak with Jax alone; to appeal for this trip to Louisiana.

Jax would have to understand Chibs told himself. Jax would have to see that Chibs and Molly needed this trip so badly.

Chibs went over just what he was going to say in his head one final time before he made his way over to the chapel doors.

Jax didn't speak until Chibs had entered the chapel and had taken a seat at his usual spot around the table. "Everything alright brother? I didn't expect to see you up here this early."

"Aye...I need to have a word with ya." Chibs replied deciding to just jump straight into what he wanted.

"Everything okay? How's Molly and Mason?" Jax asked spotting the worry behind Chibs' eyes. Jax knew there were only three things in Chibs' life that could make him look that downtrodden; Molly, Mason, or Kerrianne.

Chibs let out a heavy sigh reaching up to ran a hand through his hair as he spoke up. "She's a mess Jackie...She falls apart at the slightest upset. Bobby said the entire time I was up in Oregon Molly wouldn't let Mason out of her sight. It's like she's afraid of losin him too."

He paused his throat growing tight at the next part of his statement. "She's strugglin through what happened with Marcus Morris...The guilt is eatin her alive. She thinks she miscarried because God is punishin her for killin Marcus."

"Shit. I'm sorry brother." Jax replied reaching out to give Chibs a pat on the shoulder.

Chibs let out a heavy sigh shaking his head as he spoke up letting all his worries out. "I don't know what to do fer her Jax. She's my world and it's killin me seein her like this...If she aint havin nightmares she's crying and it's killin her. She's in so much pain...She can't even walk into the nursery Jax. It's like she knows seein that empty nursery would destroy her."

Chibs frowned his heart aching as he moved on to what he needed so badly. "I wanta take her back to New Orleans fer Christmas...back to her hometown. She needs to find some closure Jackie. She has ta find a way to move forward...we both do. I need to heal too...I wouldn't ask if I didn't have any other way to fix her...to fix us."

"Ya sure that's safe brother? Going back to Parker's hometown?" Jax asked automatically worrying that Chibs and Molly might have some sort of run-in with Brian Parker's father. After all wasn't Molly just as worried about Joseph Parker as she had been about Brian Parker.

"I'm goin to have to be willin to take that risk. I have to do somethin fer us to grieve and this is all I can think of. It'll be good fer Molly and Mason. And what's good fer them is good fer me. If I have any trouble with the Parker family I'll give ya a call." Chibs reassured Jax knowing that he had already considered Molly's ex in-laws.

Chibs knew of course that Jax had a point. The Parker family would be none the pleased to see Molly, Mason, and he back in her hometown especially now with Brian's sudden disappearance.

He knew though that this trip was necessary to Molly's recovery. He refused to allow Molly's asshole ex in laws to scare her away from her hometown.

"How much time will you need?" Jax asked anxious about having one of his most valuable brothers out of reach.

"Jus two or three weeks at the most. We're goin to drive there that way I can keep my gun and my knives on me. We'll be back after Christmas." Chibs explained knowing that he had already planned out the trip in his head.

It would take a couple of days for them to drive from Charming to New Orleans of course that wasn't counting the time that would be taken out for sleeping and eating. And of course traveling with a six year old would be unpredictable. It would be over two thousand miles of traveling, but Chibs knew he'd traveled farther. That had always been on his bike though.

Chibs knew that he needed to take out three weeks at the most just so they wouldn't have to rush through the road trip and their visit.

He wanted Molly and Mason to enjoy themselves as much as possible.

"Alright man...I'm sending Juice with you though. I want someone watching your back brother...besides I know ya need to keep an eye on Juice given his status in the club right now. Juice is perfect to go. He doesn't ever go anywhere for the holidays. He would be okay with going with you. I just want someone close by in case things go bad with the Parkers." Jax replied.

Chibs twisted his lips wanting to argue with this order. After all who was Jax to say who Chibs should take along on what was to be a family vacation?

Chibs knew Jax had a point about both things though. He needed someone to watch his back just in case the Parker family did something stupid.

And Juice was on thin ice with the club at the moment; given his past actions of stealing that cocaine and blaming it on Miles. Juice had ratted out the club to Roosevelt. Though they hadn't excommunicated Juice for this action things were still tense between he and the club.

Chibs let out a heavy sigh knowing that he really didn't have much of an argument to contend the matter. It would be nice to have a brother close by in case anything went to shit, even if things with that brother were a bit tense.

Chibs frowned realizing this would have to just be part of the balancing act he was trying to figure out with the club and his family.

This change of plans would have to work.

He just hoped he could explain it to Molly.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews? Constructive Criticism? Please do review though it keeps me inspired and let's me know that I'm not completely ruining this story for you. Seriously don't be shy about telling me if you hate something. <em>


	3. Fears and Confidence Boosting

Molly and Lyla walked side by side through Charming Corner each of them carrying plastic shopping bags in hand.

Charming Corner was the town of Charming's answer to a mall. The _mall _was located in a medium sized one story building down on main street and it was filled with little mom and pop shops, a few tiny food carts, and a small burger and Pizza joint.

Though it wasn't impressive compared to most malls it was the perfect place for the two women to do a bit of Christmas shopping.

Molly had meant to get started on her Christmas shopping months ago, but given the mess her life had been over these past few months she hadn't gotten the opportunity.

She did her best to push all the troubles from her head as she sipped on the knockoff blue raspberry _Slurpee_ she'd bought at the food cart for lunch. Nothing could cure troubles faster than a salty soft pretzel and a sweet and sour icy drink in her opinion.

It felt good to actually get out of the house after these past few weeks.

It seemed that she could feel herself shutting the ones who loved her out and locking herself up in her room far too much lately. It was a cycle she was determined to break with herself. She had been down this road before in her life and she knew that isolating herself did no one any favors.

She knew that she had a long road ahead of her as far as recovering from this all, but she was determined to push forward. It wouldn't be easy, but Molly was prepared to work hard.

Molly was looking forward to Christmas. Thanksgiving had been such a disaster for her.

Chibs Mason and she had spent Thanksgiving at Gemma's house a few days right before Chibs had been forced to leave on that run up to Oregon. The entire time Molly felt as though everyone was walking on eggshells around her.

She didn't blame them. She had found herself feeling melancholy the entire day. And each time she found her gaze turning to little Thomas Teller it made that emptiness she felt within her womb grow.

She was determined to make Christmas a little better. She hadn't heard back from Chibs about rather or not he'd spoken with Jax about them going to Louisiana for the holiday, but she prayed that it would happen.

She knew that Chibs, Mason, and she so badly needed a good Christmas.

Though as excited as Molly was to be honest she found herself feeling little ashamed to know that it would be such a tiny Christmas as far as gifts went. Chibs and she would be using a lot of their money for the trip from Charming to New Orleans.

She was just relieved that she'd already discussed getting Mason something nice as a Santa gift with her brother and his partner.

Jack and Geoff would be helping her and Chibs purchase a handheld Nintendo DS for Mason. No it wasn't the fancy Wii Mason had been hoping for, but it was the best they could do with their finances.

She had managed to buy Mason two games to go with the Nintendo as well as a container of bright sidewalk chalk. Chibs had bought the boy some little toy motorcycles.

Those were all the gifts Mason would be getting from them at least. It was a far cry for the extravagant gifts Mason used to receive when Molly had still been a Parker. Molly just hoped that receiving less gifts wouldn't disappoint the child.

So far Molly had managed to buy a little faux pearl broach for her grandmother Rose, a heavy skull shaped ring for her sister Candace, a book about Jimi Hendrix for her brother Jack, and a thick gray sweater for Geoff.

That left Molly two people to shop for; Chibs and her mother.

Despite the fact that she hadn't spoken to her mother since their falling out she still felt the need to buy Gloria Dupuis a small gift.

Molly was struggling with rather she would actually give her mother the gift of course.

She already had the feeling that her mom wouldn't be spending Christmas at Rose's once she found out that Chibs would be there.

Molly was just trying hard to push back the rage she felt at this realization. She had hoped that her mother would be mature enough to shove back her issues with Chibs for a few days so she could visit with Mason.

Molly knew her mother well enough to know that Gloria held grudges and those grudges softened for no one.

Molly looked up from her drink turning her head as Lyla spoke. "Is Chibs' daughter coming over from Belfast for Christmas?"

"No. She won't be able to make it till Summer. It's frustrating having to wait to meet her until then...I'm terrified that when this summer visit comes around she'll hate me. You know how teenage girls can be." Molly admitted her stomach rolling at the thought of the soon to be step daughter she hadn't met yet.

"Oh yeah. I was a nightmare when I was a teenager. I'm sure she won't hate you." Lyla pointed out as she shifted the abundance of shopping bags in her hand.

Molly let out a soft sigh taking a sip from her drink as she spoke up. "I don't know...I just don't want her to think I'm some sort of evil stepmother type. Kerrianne is so close to Chibs. It's never been easy for them...him missing out on so much of her childhood. I'm sort of afraid that she'll see Mason and Chibs interacting and it will bring up some sour feelings...I don't want there to be any tension between us. It would kill Chibs if Kerrianne and me didn't get along."

Lyla spoke up wanting to ease her friend's fears. "I wouldn't worry so much. Kerrianne approves of Chibs and you getting married right? I mean if she was going to hate you I bet she wouldn't approve of you marrying her dad."

Molly nodded her head her stomach still in knots. She just prayed that Lyla was right.

She knew that Kerrianne and she wouldn't get on right of the bat of course. It would take time.

Molly knew that Kerrianne practically worshiped Chibs and Chibs adored the girl just as dearly. She knew that Kerrianne was probably protective over her father.

Molly knew that she would have to work hard to assure Kerrianne that she really did love Chibs and that she understood just how much he meant to Kerrianne.

Lyla spoke sensing that Molly needed a change of subject. "So have you gotten anything for Chibs yet?"

Molly shook her head rolling her eyes a bit as she let out a huff. "No. He's impossible to shop for. And when I ask him what he wants for Christmas guess what answer I get?"

Lyla chuckled wasting no time to answer her. "Sex."

Most men really were so predictable.

Molly laughed nodding her head. "Yep. I keep telling him he gets that all the time so how can it be a gift. If he keeps it up he's getting a huge box of coal and sticks."

Lyla laughed at this. She nodded over to a lingerie boutique. "You could get him something in there."

"I don't think he'd look good in a thong." Molly joked her eyes shifting to the ground as she tried not to think of what had happened the last time Chibs and she had attempted to have sex.

Lyla spotted the way Molly's shoulders sagged as she made this comment. She reached out placing a hand on her friend's shoulder concern clear in her voice as she spoke. "Are you okay Molly?"

Molly looked up at Lyla giving her a soft smile. She was still astonished that Lyla and she had become such good friends.

When she had first met Lyla she had been a little wary of the woman simply because of her occupation and her past. Molly had never once in a million years imagined that she would come to see Lyla as being one of her best friends.

Most of the time Molly honestly felt a bit closer to Lyla than she did to Tara which was a little surprising.

Especially lately. It seemed that Tara and Jax were having problems in their marriage and Tara had been so distant. Molly had been unsure of what to say to Tara fearing upsetting the woman some how.

Lyla had proven to be just the type of friend Molly needed. The two women had found themselves becoming quite close and Molly had learned to shove aside the previous discretion she'd felt about Lyla's lifestyle.

Molly felt comfortable around Lyla. It had been a long time since she'd really had any friends. Brain had always shut her out from the outside world. So having a close friendship was somewhat new to Molly.

Molly gave Lyla a half smile taking another sip from her drink as she spoke up needing to get this entire situation out in the open with someone she could trust. "Chibs and I haven't...we haven't had sex since my miscar..since we lost the baby."

Lyla nodded her head understandingly. She spoke up patting Molly's shoulder. "It's normal...I mean you're probably still sore and everything. Your body probably still thinks it's pregnant in a lot of ways...your breasts are still sore."

Molly let out a soft sigh her voice falling. "It's not that. I'm fine physically. I mean yeah by breasts hurt but it's not that bad. It's just my head is so screwed up. We got close the morning after he came back from Oregon. We were kissing and talking and really feeling so wonderful and...then he started kissing my stomach...he was kissing it the same way he used to kiss it when I was still pregnant. Feeling him do that...it just set off something in my head and I freaked out."

She paused her lips twisting into a grimace. "If I keep this up he's going to get tired of me."

Lyla widened her eyes a little shocked by this statement.

Lyla had the feeling that this was Molly's past with abuse speaking more than her brain.

Lyla imagined that Brian had treated Molly's heart like trash. He'd probably been the kind of man who cheated and then blamed Molly for not being enough for him sexually.

She began to rub Molly's shoulder doing her best to reassure her. "He won't get tired of you hon. He loves you."

"Love only gets you so far though doesn't it? I mean in this life...the croweaters are always making eyes at Chibs...I know he loves me, but if I keep having problems in the bedroom isn't he going to just...i don't know. I guess I'm just scared that he'll go to one of those Friday night parties and get drunk and make a mistake. And then I feel so horrible for even thinking that. He promised me that he'd never stray...that he understood that I had to be the only one. I don't know...I'm just a huge insecure mess I guess." Molly explained shaking her head her face falling even more.

Lyla sighed wanting to tell Molly that her fears had no basis. She knew though that Molly had a point.

Besides didn't Lyla once think that Opie and she were unbreakable as far as monogamy went and that hadn't turned out great.

Lyla did the only thing she could linking her arm with Molly's and leading her off towards the lingerie boutique. "Maybe you just need a confidence booster. Trust me nothing can boost your confidence faster than seeing your man's eyes pop out when he sees you in something lacy and tiny."

Molly let out a soft sigh wanting to tell Lyla that she didn't feel like buying anything lacy and tiny, but she kept her mouth shut. Perhaps Lyla was right; she needed confidence boost.

She had to push herself in this or it was just going to get worse.

Maybe she could buy some lingerie but hold off on wearing it until she worked up the nerve to have a heart to heart with Chibs about all these fears and insecurities she was experiencing.

Lyla grinned as they entered the boutique her eyes instantly landing upon the perfect thing for Molly to wear. She made a beeline for it grabbing it off the hanger as she unhooked her arm from Molly's.

She held the little number up in front of Molly's body the grin not leaving her face as she spoke. "See perfect for Christmas."

Molly burst out laughing as she stared down at her body and the lingerie Lyla had placed in front of her. The lingerie was a red baby doll and matching thong. Along the breasts and the hem of the baby doll was a fluffy white material.

"It's a little cheesy isn't it? I mean it's Santa lingerie." Molly pointed out her nose crinkling as she laughed.

Lyla laughed as well nodding her head. "I never thought I'd hear the phrase Santa lingerie and I've done a move called Skanking Beauty."

Molly raised an eyebrow at this comment quickly decoding that Skanking Beauty was supposed to some sort of bizarre Sleeping Beauty porn.

She shook her head mildly disturbed by this.

Lyla spoke again as she pulled the lingerie away from Molly's form. "Yeah it is cheesy but it'd be kind of cute you know. It can be a little private Christmas Eve gift for Chibs. I'm buying it for you no matter what you say."

Molly smiled knowing that she obviously didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Lyla did have a point Molly had to admit.

Chibs probably would adore the lingerie despite it's cheese factor. It was her in a thong and something pretty sheer so chances are he wouldn't even think about how silly it was.

"That still doesn't take care of a gift for him." Molly pointed out her cheeks flushing as a salesgirl peered over at Lyla and she's giggling fit.

"What's he need?" Lyla asked picking up a soft purple thong out of the clearance bin for herself.

Molly shook her head as she held up a stringy yellow thong her cheeks flushing at the sight. "I have no idea. He doesn't really need new clothing...and he's so particular about what he likes. I may just get him a scarf for when he has to take long rides. That purple scarf of his is looking ratty. I want to get him something a little more personal though."

Molly spoke up unable to stop herself from bringing up the other thing that had been troubling her lately as Lyla and she continued to browse through the store. "When Opie and you were still married did...did you ever fear for his safety...I mean the club it's...did you ever wonder if he might leave the life?"

Lyla frowned spotting trouble brewing behind Molly's eyes. She gave her a weak smile as she spoke. "He was pretty deep in the club by the time I met him. Before...before his first wife Donna died he was out of the life for a little while. He worked construction but the money wasn't great. So he went back. He kind of settled into the life you know...he grew up around it. So he never thought that he was fit for anything different. Why?"

Molly placed the yellow thong back down as she reached up to toy with the straw in her drink. "I just worry about Chibs. I worry a lot about his safety. I...I don't know what I would do if I ever lost him to this life."

She paused feeling guilty as she spotted the sorrow in Lyla's eyes. She knew that Lyla understood loss. Lyla had loved Opie though they'd had their problems she had loved him and it had killed her to lose him.

Molly let out a soft sigh speaking again struggling to put her words together. "I...Chibs and I we've talked about it you know...him leaving the life...He promised me that if it ever gets to be too much...if it ever threatens to destroy us, that he'll always choose his family. I just...I worry that we won't have a chance to get out in time...before it gets to be too much for us...that I'll lose him somehow. And I feel so guilty for asking him to walk away from it all. It's been his life for over a decade...I know it would kill him to leave, but I don't want the club to kill him first. I just...am I a horrible person for even making him think about choosing? Do you think I'm selfish?"

"Of course you aren't selfish Molly. I understand where you're coming from. I've been in your shoes...back when Ope and me were still married I...I would get frustrated with his dedication to the club...just I would get so angry with him. I just, I just decided that loving men like ours it's not easy...there's not an old lady guidebook you know? It's different for everyone. I don't think Chibs would make those promises to you if he didn't mean it. I think at the end of the day you just have to remember that you can't base your relationship off of anyone elses. If it works for you then stick with it. And as far as being scared goes, I think it's okay to be afraid. You wouldn't be human and you wouldn't love Chibs if you weren't scared of losing him." Lyla replied meaning every word she said.

It still hurt Lyla so badly to think of Opie; to imagine all the what ifs.

She refused to let Molly beat herself up over all her fears though. Even if talking about Opie hurt Lyla was willing to push through it for friendship.

Lyla truly did appreciate Molly's friendship. It was nice to have a friend outside of porn and Diosa. So often people on the outside world looked at Lyla's profession and judged her for it.

Yes she knew that Molly had her doubts when they'd first met, and she was eternally thankful that Molly hadn't bought into her apprehensions.

Molly gave Lyla a hug so thankful for the woman's insight. "Thank you so much. I...it's good to get this all out of my head and know that I'm not some egotistical basketcase."

She spoke again biting her lip as she pulled back. "Can we keep this conversation between us...I don't think Gemma would be so thrilled knowing that Chibs and I have had that talk. And I don't think his brothers would be pleased with him knowing about it. I mean you know how Gemma is the whole _love the man learn to love the club _thing and the guys would just see Chibs and I having that agreement as disloyalty."

"Of course it'll never leave this room." Lyla agreed knowing that Molly was right about both statements.

Gemma and the boys would see Molly as a traitor for asking Chibs for that sort of thing.

Lyla knew though that she couldn't see Molly that way. She understood just how SAMCRO could eat you alive if you let it.

She just hoped that for her dear friend's sake that Molly and Chibs could avoid that fate.

* * *

><p>Chibs and Mason stood in the kitchen in the farmhouse in front of the tile counter, Mason sitting up on a stool as they worked.<p>

Chibs had taken it upon himself to go to the grocery store and gather the ingredients for a good dinner after he had picked Mason up from school.

The menu tonight was his special made burgers, that strawberry spinach salad Molly loved, and grilled corn on the cob.

Chibs knew that most people wouldn't believe it but he could cook, though he wasn't always successful at the venture.

There were a few choice things Chibs could make though; juicy steaks, Irish Stew, any meat pie, Soda Bread, and of course burgers.

His special burgers were ground beef stuffed with diced onions, diced cheddar cheese, garlic, salt, and peppers. Of course he was editing Mason's burger a bit though leaving out the spicy peppers.

Chibs had tasked the child with ripping up bits of lettuce and spinach for the salad. It was the only task that didn't involve knives.

Mason had taken and interest to the kitchen since Bobby's visit during the last week, and had been begging to help out with meals.

"Do ya think yer ma's goin to like dinner?" Chibs asked Mason not helping but to grin at the way the little boy was meticulously tearing the salad putting his full concentration into the task.

"Uh huh. She's going to like my salad." Mason insisted as he continued to break up the greens putting them into a large bowl Chibs had set out for him.

Chibs twisted his mouth to avoid bursting out laughing at this little comment. "Aye I bet she will laddie. She's goin to be real proud of ya fer making it by yerself."

He felt his heart swell as the little boy gave him a look of complete pride.

Chibs was so relieved to see that Mason was still coming out of the shell he'd built up through the yeas of living under Brian Parker's household.

Mason today was a world away from the silent withdrawn little boy that had shown up at TM Auto the day his mother had gotten a flat tire in her bug.

If anyone had told Chibs back on that day that he would be standing here today making that stunning blonde woman dinner with that shy little boy he would have laughed right in their faces.

It was still a little surreal to think how much things had changed so quickly for him. This time last year Chibs was all alone devoting himself fully to SAMCRO and now here he was with a family who adored him.

Chibs continued to stuff cheese into the burgers as he spoke. He knew that it would be okay to break this news to Mason now. He was already planning on telling Molly tonight. "We're goin somewhere real special fer Christmas."

Mason stared up at Chibs his eyes wide in amazement as he tried to guess just where they were going.

Chibs gave him a grin as he spoke revealing the truth. "We're goin to go visit yer Nana Rose in Louisiana. Ya can give her that nice thing ya made fer her in school today."

Mason had made Rose a little Santa made out of construction paper and cotton balls in the art segment during school today.

Mason had planned on sending it to Rose in the mail along with the Christmas card Molly had bought for her family, but now it seemed the boy would be able to give it to her in person.

Chibs felt his heart sink as Mason's face went from excited to uncertain. "My old daddy won't hurt mommy right? He lives in Louisiana...and I don't want him to be mean to mommy if we see him on accident."

Chibs moved quickly cleaning his hands free of raw meat and food in the sink before he made his way back to Mason. He knelt down in front of the boy his hand reaching out to rest against his cheek. "Of course not sweet lad. Ya know I'd never let anyone hurt yer ma...not even yer old daddy."

Chibs felt his heart ache at the fear in Mason's eyes. The child was obviously frightened of Brian Parker.

Chibs didn't blame the boy. After all Mason had witnessed Brian beating Molly so horribly that final time.

Chibs knew that the child probably knew that Brian wasn't a sweet man long before that though. It pained Chibs to think of all the years Mason had seen bruises along his mother's skin knowing despite Molly's best efforts to shield him from the truth that his father was responsible for causing her such pain.

Mason frowned his voice so tiny and his eyes so full of despair. "He's real mean. He says bad words to mommy and makes her hurt."

Chibs nodded his head his mind quickly decoding those bad words. Molly had already told him all the names Brian used to thrust at her; bitch, whore, tramp, dumb cunt.

Chibs was only relieved knowing that Mason hadn't learned that this was the way to treat ones wife. He knew that if Mason had grown up in that household to his teens that Brian might of twisted the child into thinking just like him.

The thought made Chibs want to vomit.

Chibs felt so guilty knowing that he couldn't tell Mason the truth; that Brian Parker was dead and gone and would never hurt a hair on Molly's head again.

He knew though that the truth could never come out. He couldn't tell Mason that Brian was lying dead rotting somewhere buried in the Chigger Woods with a single gunshot wound to the head given to him by _Daddy Chibs. _

The child could never know this truth. It was best for Mason to just believe that Brian Parker had disappeared going far away to never hurt them ever again.

Chibs feared that one day when Mason was old enough to understand more about Chibs' lifestyle that he would come to his own conclusions about what had happened to his biological father; that he would figure out the truth.

Chibs just hoped that if that day came that Mason would understand why he'd done what he had done. Killing Brian Parker was the only way to protect Molly and Mason.

The only way a bastard like Brian would ever leave Molly and Mason alone was if he was dead.

He wrapped his arms around Mason hugging the boy as tight as he could without harming him. "I know laddie. He wasn't a nice person...he was..I just want ya to always know that I'll never let anyone hurt yer ma or say anythin mean to her ever again. I'd never let anythin happen ta either one of ya. I promse ya Mason and ya know ya can't break promises. Yer ma and ya are my world know why?"

Mason shook his head his arms encircling Chibs holding him the man always making him feel safe.

Chibs pulled back pressing a kiss to the boy's cheek. "Cause I love ya both so much."

"I love you too daddy." Mason murmured a look of worry still etched deep into his face.

Chibs ruffled the child's hair as he spoke. "Aye how much?"

Mason smiled up at him the question cheering him up a tiny bit. He held his arms out wide as though he was measuring his love. "This much."

Chibs grinned as he stood up copying the action. "Aye I love ya this much too."

Mason giggled the little action taking his mind of his worries for now at least.

Chibs ruffled the boy's dark hair before he made his way over to the frige pulling out a container of bright red juicy strawberries.

He went back over to the cabinet speaking to Mason as he opened the container. "If I chop these us can ya put em I the salad?"

Mason nodded his head happy to be given another task as he went back to breaking up greens for the salad.

Molly entered the house making as little noise as possible so thankful to find that the dog's had been left out back.

She made her way upstairs to Chibs' and her room staying silent as she shoved the shopping bags into the corner of her closet beside the two pairs of shoes she'd bought for her wedding this summer. She knew both Chibs and Mason would never think to peek in her closet.

She had bought two pairs of shoes for the wedding on sale; a pair of light blue flats for the ceremony since it would be outdoors and she didn't want to trip in heels, and a pair of dark navy blue D'orsay heels for the reception.

The reception would hopefully be held indoors. She wasn't one hundred percent on that plan though.

She knew it was a little silly hiding the shoes after all Chibs knew she'd bought them. She had purchased them with the severance pay she'd received and saved up after being fired from Saint Thomas.

She just wanted every element of her outfit on her wedding day to be a shock to Chibs; all the way down from the tips of her shoes to the top the veil on her head.

She was sure that most brides to be would feel the same on that desire.

She left her room stopping at the closed door leading into nursery. She placed her hand against the white wooden door her heart aching and twisting.

Molly still hadn't worked up the willpower to enter that room. Though it was unfinished; the only things that were in the room was a rocking chair, an unfinished mobile, and a dresser. The thought of seeing those three things was enough to make Molly's heart feel as though it could shatter.

She felt her breath catch thinking of the other things in that nursery; her ultrasound results, the tape holding those doppler readings, and that little hat.

She felt tears well up behind her eyes as she thought of that sweet little knitted green hat; the SAMCRO patch sewn into it. It was still in that dresser waiting to go on a baby that would never be born.

Molly took a few breaths trying to keep her breathing even and slow as she fought back tears.

She pulled away from the door almost feeling as though she wanted to run far away from it and all the pain it held.

Molly made her way back downstairs walking so fast that it was amazing she didn't trip down the stairs.

She pushed back her heartache as she made her way through the living room leaning against the door-frame leading into the kitchen.

She felt a smile develop along her face as she watched _her boys._

Seeing Mason and Chibs made Molly feel strong. She felt that as long as she had both of them by her side she could find it in herself to move on from all this sorrow she'd been locked in these past few weeks.

Molly could admit that having Mason did ease a bit of the pain she felt from her miscarriage. Molly was sure that if she didn't have her son then the loss of the baby would be so much more crushing.

She pushed all the sorrow and worry she felt far from her mind as she walked into the room standing behind Chibs as she spoke. "What are you boys up to?"

Chibs turned to face Molly his heart sinking when he spotted the pain behind her pasted on smile. He pushed back the need to ask her about it.

He was relieved to see how cheerful she'd been this morning when she'd left for a day out with Lyla.

Molly had actually done her makeup for the first time in days. She had dressed for comfort though wearing a light pink fluffy sweater that matched her nail polish, a pair of black leggings, and flip flops. She had braided her hair loosely to the side.

He knew that she was still having a little bit of pain in her ribs even if they were close to healing by now.

He spoke giving her a loving smile. "Thought me and the laddie would make ya a good meal."

"I'm making salad." Mason exclaimed holding up a sliced strawberry to show his mother a look of pride on his face.

Molly grinned down at the boy as she walked over to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I see that. It looks yummy."

She ran her hands through Mason's shaggy locks a soft smile on her face. He was refusing ot let her take him to the barber and get a hair cut. Mason wanted to grow his hair out like Chibs and Molly didn't have the heart to refuse this request.

She just hoped that the kids at school didn't tease Mason for his longer locks. She knew kids could be so cruel and she knew that Mason had such a tender heart.

She had a feeling that Chibs was right about the fact that Mason would have to learn to fight one day. As much as she hated the idea of Mason getting into fist fights she knew that he had to learn to defend himself.

She only hoped that Chibs would be able to teach Mason to box and to respect the sport enough not to take it outside the ring unless necessary.

She leaned down pressing a kiss to Mason's forehead as the boy looked up at her. "Why don't you go to the bathroom and wash your hands. They look a little slimy."

Molly helped Mason hop off the stool without injuring himself as she watched him disappear upstairs to wash up.

She made her way over to Chibs wrapping her arms around his waist melting against him as he put down the butter knife and wrapped an arm around her.

She spoke up wanting to avoid her melancholy for a bit longer. "So what's for dinner?"

"Burgers, that strawberry salad shite ya like, and grilled corn on the cob. I got ya some of that Rose Wine ya like too." Chibs replied hoping that his plan to cheer Molly up with a good meal would work.

Molly smiled down at the food he'd put together so far. "Sounds good. I love your burgers."

"Aye that's why I made em." Chibs remarked leaning over and pressing a kiss to her temple.

He pulled away from her washing his hands in the kitchen sink as he spoke. "So I had a talk with Jax yesterday bout us goin over ta New Orleans."

Molly felt her stomach flip at this comment. She reached down twisting her engagement ring as she spoke. "And?"

Chibs gave her a smile as he dried his hands. He made his way over to her wrapping his arms around her as he replied. "And he said that I should go."

Molly let out a sigh of relief at hearing this. She'd almost feared that Jax wouldn't want Chibs pulling away from the club for a few weeks.

She pressed her lips to his in a deep kiss her arms wrapping around his waist. "Thank god."

Chibs gave her a sheepish smile as he spoke up. "Ya might not wanna be thankin the lord jus yet...Jax made a stipulation ta me goin."

Molly frowned irritated that Jax was dictating this trip. She pushed back her annoyance as she spoke. "What is it?"

"Juice has ta come along ta play bodyguard." Chibs explained spotting the way Molly's eyes clouded over at this.

She pulled away from him letting out a huff. "This is supposed to be a family trip Filip."

Chibs ran a hand through his hair fully ready for her to blow up at him. He knew that she was right. This was supposed to be a family vacation of sorts. "Aye I know lass."

"It was suppose to just be us." Molly remarked her eyes narrowing.

Chibs placed an arm around her trying to put a cork on her anger before it exploded. "I know lass...Jax is jus worried bout us goin to New Orleans so soon after...ya know Brian. He jus wants Juice ta be there watchin our backs."

Molly sighed her anger disappearing at that explanation. She knew that Jax did have a point. The Parker family wasn't just going to roll over and surrender like that.

They would notice Brian was missing and if Brian had told them he was going to Charming then Molly knew that the Parker family would be on the attack.

"You're right...shit." Molly exclaimed fear rolling through her invading every inch of her body.

Chibs sensed this. He let out a soft sigh as he reached over placing a hand on her cheek getting her to look at him. "No one's hurtin our family lass."

Molly gave him a tight smile nodding her head in agreement. No one was hurting them again as long as she lived and breathed.

She just prayed that Juice would be enough to help protect them when the Parkers came for her head.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews? Constructive Criticism? <em>


	4. Searching For Peace

Molly stood in Charming Elementary at the doorway to Mason's classroom his arms wrapped tight around her. She held on to the little boy almost not wanting to let go of him.

She knew she was being ridiculous. Her son needed to go to school, he was already so damn far behind. It would be a miracle if he didn't fail this year.

Molly knew that she was feeling clingy and it made her feel so pathetic. All that had happened over the past few weeks had left her feeling like a paranoid mess.

She felt so weak. She wished that she could just find in her to be tough; to be strong and move on with her life.

She was more afraid than she wanted to admit. She had almost convinced herself that the second Mason left her sight he would disappear and she would never see him ever again.

She had nightmares about the boy being pulled away from her by some horrible unseen force. She had atrocious dreams that she had lost Mason in the strangest places; the grocery store, TM Auto, the library. In those dreams she wondered around long twisting hallways searching high and low for her child. The longer she wondered the more clear it became to her that her baby boy was gone; lost to her forever.

She found herself waking from these dreams in a cold sweat on the verge of tears. Chibs had been so patient with her; so sweet and understanding.

Molly told herself that most men would have had enough by now. Most men would have deemed her an unstable mess and cut their losses, but most men weren't Chibs.

Molly was still so thankful that Chibs had come into her life. He really was her godsend. She still believed that; now more than ever.

All those times she woke up in tears Chibs would just hold her against him his lips pressing to her sweat dampened skin as he soothed her; telling her he loved her and that he was going to keep her safe.

Molly tried to put on a bright happy face as Mason pulled back from her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He spoke thankfully not seeing his mother's anxiety. "I love you mommy."

Molly took a deep breath trying to hide the fear and uncertainty in her voice. "I love you too sweet baby. Be good and have fun today."

She reluctantly let go of him and allowed him to walk away from her disappearing amongst his classmates as he headed for his desk off towards the center of the colorful cheery classroom.

Molly resisted the urge to stand here and watch over the child for a bit longer. She couldn't be a clingy mess, she reminded herself.

It killed Molly to realize that one day her sweet little boy would come to the point in his life where he no longer wanted her nor Chibs to walk him to his classroom.

One day Mason would be embarrassed by his mother and his step father. It was only a natural part of growing up; Molly knew this.

She just hoped that this part of growing up wouldn't come for a long while.

Though she loved the idea of Mason growing into a strong handsome man, a small part of her wanted Mason to stay her tenderhearted baby boy for as long as possible.

She was about to walk away from the classroom and trek back out to the parking lot to her bug when she heard a soft voice. "Ms. Dupuis."

She turned to face the owner of the voice her stomach dropping at the sight of Mason's teacher Miss Meadows.

Miss Meadows was a tall thin blonde. She was quite pretty. Molly couldn't help but to picture the woman as some sort of preppy cheerleader. A small part of her wondered if the teacher had been a cheerleader back in high school.

Miss Meadows was kind enough. Though she had been a bit wary of Chibs when he'd come with Molly to parent teacher night.

Molly spoke her voice tight. "Miss Meadows...is there a problem?"

Molly felt a bit humiliated by her appearance; here she was standing in front of her son's beloved teacher in a pair of black yoga pants, a tank top, and flip flops; her hair pulled up into a messy bun, her eyes clearly watering a bit.

She knew that she looked like a nutcase. She could only imagine what the teacher was thinking; _crazy Molly Dupuis. __What a disaster. Poor sweet Mason stuck with a loon for a mother._

Molly tried her best not to compare herself to the teacher who was dressed so stylishly in a knee length floral dress and a cardigan her blonde locks pulled into a tight twist.

"Well you could say that...I'm a bit concerned about Mason. He's been quiet in class...well he's usually pretty quiet which can be a blessing compared to some of the more vocal kids. He's just seemed down lately...worried actually." Miss Meadows explained her eyes studying Molly curiously.

Mary Meadows had been a bit astonished by the soft spoken woman when she had first met her at Mason's parent teacher night at the beginning of the school year.

Molly Dupuis wasn't what Mary pictured when she thought of a biker babe.

That parent teacher night Molly had been dressed so plainly in dark jeans, black converse, and a simple short sleeved yellow peasant blouse.

Molly had looked as though she didn't belong beside the man she'd brought along with her. Filip _Chibs_ Telford frightened Mary Meadows.

He was an intimidating older man; tall, clad in a brown leather jacket, a kutte on his back, and those scars on his cheeks; deep gashes embedded into his skin.

If Chibs had wondered into her classroom all by himself Mary would have been tempted to call the police fearing that he was some sort of sicko or some deplorable criminal here to damage her classroom or steal from the other parents.

Mary had been even more shocked as she'd seen Chibs hold Molly's hand so gently. He had stared at soft spoken innocent looking Molly with so much love in his eyes.

He had smiled proudly as Mary had told Molly and he about Mason's day to day activities in her classroom.

It was clear that Filip Telford adored Molly Dupuis and her boy.

It was obvious that Mason adored the man just as much. Often for Mason's art time in class he drew vivid pictures of Chibs on the back of his Harley or Chibs working at the garage.

It was the perfect example of a little boy looking up to his father.

Mary Meadows couldn't help but to be concerned by Molly's appearance today. The woman looked so pale; like a ghost.

It was clear she hadn't slept in a good while, her eyes had heavy bags resting underneath them.

Molly took a deep breath her voice breaking a bit as she spoke. "We've had a hard time lately...we've been going through something very difficult. I had a...a, I lost a baby recently. Mason has been taking it hard...we all have."

Miss. Meadows widened her eyes as she took in this information. She was quick to speak her voice tight. "I'm sorry to hear that."

She paused clearing her throat clearly feeling awkward about this entire conversation. She spoke again her hand reaching up to toy with the pearl necklace she was wearing. "I was thinking that it wouldn't hurt for Mason to have a word with our counselor here."

Molly tensed up at this comment. She spoke up her voice sharp, so unlike her usual gentle tone. "You want to send my son to a shrink?"

The entire idea brought up sour memories for Molly.

After her father had committed suicide little eight year old Molly Dupuis had been bounced around from child psychologist to child psychologist.

The entire process had left her feeling bitter and angry.

She had felt like every doctor she'd seen was judging her; the poor little girl whose father had hung himself from the rafters in the music room, the sick crazy damaged girl.

"Not a shrink...just a person he can open up to. Our counselor is really good. She's great actually. It might help Mason to express himself in a judgment free space." Miss. Meadows clarified her eyes growing wider at Molly's tone of voice.

Molly scoffed at the words judgment_ free zone. _

Molly took a deep breath knowing that she couldn't freak out. She had to hold her anger in. She gritted her jaw as she spoke her voice tight. "I don't think I'm comfortable with that. I can comfort my own child."

Miss. Meadows cleared her throat seeing the rage in Molly's eyes. "Of course...I understand. I just thought I'd let you know that the option was there."

"Is there anything else?" Molly blurted out not caring if she was being a huge bitch at the moment.

She'd been having a hard time as it was and she didn't need unpeasant childhood memories making things worse.

"Mason is falling back a bit in class...as you and your...his step father are already aware." Miss. Meadows replied looking as though she wanted nothing more than to walk away from Molly.

Molly took a deep breath doing her best to shove her inner bitch back in the box as she spoke. "Is there anything we can do to help him catch up...we've been sitting with him and helping him with his homework...I know he's missed a lot of school."

Miss Meadows nodded her head thankful that Molly hadn't snapped at her again. As sweet as the woman looked she clearly had a bite to her. "If I send some work home with him could you get him to do it. It's extra credit."

"Yes of course." Molly replied willing to do anything to help her son pass the first grade.

She knew that it would kill her if her child had to be held back when none of this was even his fault really.

Mason had only missed school because her life had been a huge mess these past few months. She blamed herself for his falling behind.

Miss Meadows nodded her head quick to speak up as she walked away from Molly. "I'll send him home some worksheets. If he does that and writes a few small essays then I'm sure I can raise his grades."

Molly let out a huff taking a final peek into Mason's classroom. She was relieved to see that none of the children had heard any of this exchange.

She found herself practically running out to the parking lot wanting to put as much space between her and what had happened.

She leaned back against her blue bug her stomach in billions of tight knots.

Molly closed her eyes taking a few deep breaths as she tried to calm herself. She felt herself wanting nothing more than to go back home and dig into the pot Bobby had supplied her.

She felt so guilty about it. She had never been big on pot. She hadn't even played around with it in high school.

She might of dabbled a bit in cheap wine coolers and beer at parties and gigs she'd played with her band in high school, but all in all she'd been always been a good girl.

The marijuana seemed to be helping her cope though. It made the pain dull. She enjoyed the feeling of being high; feeling light and playful.

Molly knew that she needed to back off the pot. No she didn't buy into that whole _pot is a gateway drug _bullshit.

She just knew that it probably wasn't bright to be high off her ass most of the time.

After all she wanted to get pregnant again...well she wanted to move forward with being intimate with Chibs first of course. But getting pregnant again was the long term goal for her.

She knew though that she would have her best chance of conceiving if her body was as clean and pure as possible. She needed to be healthy to conceive.

Molly was a little anxious about becoming pregnant again. What if her body just couldn't handle it? What if she was destined to lose baby after baby?

She wanted to move past these fears so badly. She wanted to have a baby with Chibs more than anything.

She loved almost everything about being pregnant; morning sickness and discomfort not included.

She wanted her belly to expand with a precious little life. She wanted to rub her tummy and talk to the life inside of her womb. She wanted to laugh as Chibs cooed at her belly and rubbed it. She wanted to see that look of complete love and awe in his eyes as he talked to their unborn baby.

Yes she knew that getting pregnant again wouldn't erase the pain of the miscarriage. Nothing would ever really take that pain away.

Though that baby had been unborn he or she had been real to Chibs and Molly. It had been their baby and they had lost it.

The pain ran deep and it would always remain.

It would be wonderful to have a baby; to know that they could still create a beautiful tiny life.

Before meeting Chibs Molly had never thought of having a big family.

After all being married to Brian Parker had left her wanting to avoid expanding her family as much as possible.

Falling in love with Chibs had changed everything though.

Despite all the dangerous aspects of Chibs and his life he was the kind of man that was just made to be a father.

He loved children, he absolutely adored kids. He was the Teller children's beloved funny Uncle Chibs. Chibs was wonderful with kids; so sweet and patient and just perfect. Molly knew this.

She had realized this early on in her relationship with Chibs. He was so great with Mason. He'd made the child his little buddy so easily.

She had to love the idea of having a few kids with Chibs; growing their family together.

She could picture it all in her head; little blonde girls and little brunette boys; tiny Chibses and tiny Mollys.

She could imagine a table full of kids at dinner time laughing and talking to Chibs and she. She could imagine birthday parties and Christmases surrounded by beautiful children; their sweet gorgeous babies.

She found herself wanting a house full of kids; a house full of love and happiness. She wanted this with Chibs more than the oxygen in her lungs.

Molly was pulled from her thoughts of little cherub faced children with Chibs' dark eyes and dimples and her blonde locks as she heard a familiar voice. "You okay baby?"

She opened her eyes her stomach rolling at the sight of Gemma. _Great this was just what she needed right now. _

As much love as Molly had for the woman she could admit that Gemma could be a bit much at times.

Her entire relationship with Gemma had been made all the more awkward lately. It was clear that there was some tension between Tara and her mother in law, and Molly had no idea where to stand between the two women.

As difficult as Gemma was Molly had to admit that she felt close to the woman. Gemma had taken her under her wing in a way; taught her to defend herself, given her advice.

Gemma had been a sort of strange foul mouthed nutty surrogate mother to Molly.

On the other hand Molly did feel some loyalty to Tara. Tara had been somewhat responsible for setting Chibs and Molly up with one another; for pushing them along in their attraction to one another.

Tara was set to be Molly's maid of honor this summer. She was probably Molly's dearest friend right along with Lyla.

Molly was tied between wanting to remain loyal to Tara and wanting to let herself bond farther with Gemma.

Molly cringed as Gemma spoke up. "I saw that bitch teacher corner you in there when I was dropping off Abel at his classroom."

Molly bit the inside of her cheek her stomach rolling. The words left her mouth quickly. "She wants me to put Mason in therapy."

"That's bullshit Molly. Fuck that gash." Gemma spat out her eyes darkening with rage.

Gemma was quick to speak again as she reached out placing a gentle hand on Molly's shoulder. "You tell her to shove it up her ass baby. Real women take care of their kids. You don't need any of that new age pussy therapy crap."

Molly sighed unsure if she agreed with Gemma. Perhaps Mason did need therapy.

She quickly shook that thought from her head. Her son wasn't going to be paraded around in front of a shrink like some tiny mental patient.

Molly had lived that life and she didn't want it for Mason.

Molly took a deep breath telling herself that she would make it so Mason could talk to her about his feelings. She would let him know that it was okay to open up to her; that she would love him and help him cope through this.

She was thankful as Gemma spoke again changing the subject. "Jax says Chibs and you are going home for the holidays."

"Yeah...we thought it would be good for Mason...to spend Christmas with my folks. Brian never allowed it." Molly explained her stomach churning to think of her past Christmases spent under the Parker household.

Molly had always dreaded Christmas in the past. With Christmas came holiday parties and with holiday parties came Brian getting himself shitfaced.

When Brian was drunk he was more handsy and when he was more handsy he took her pressing his lips to her skin pushing himself into her without any foreplay or warning.

She always forced herself to endure the sex, she knew refusing would incite violence from Brian; she laid there feeling sick and awful while Brian moaned and panted over her sweating down onto her.

She hated having sex with Brian. What should be such a loving tender moment between a husband and wife was always so horrible and disgusting.

Molly hated the way Brian wouldn't even check to see if she was even turned on before thrusting into her. She despised the way her would pound into her not caring at all about her pleasure. She hated how rough his hands were on her skin; her bruised her without even caring. Her body was left feeling filthy and sore after an encounter with Brian.

When it was finally over Brian would always kiss her and say those words she hated to hear _Your mine Molly. My babydoll._

Thsoe little phrases made her want to puke.

She was unable to stop herself from visibly shivering at these memories.

When Molly had first heard the words _marital rape _she had been in deep denial. She had tried to convince herself that she'd wanted it when Brian had taken her.

Eventually though she couldn't deny the truth.

The truth was that she'd never wanted any of it. After Brian was done with her and fast asleep she would always rush to the shower. She would scrub her skin until it was red and irritated.

That wasn't the actions of a woman who wanted to have sex with her husband.

When Molly had first begun to have sex with Chibs she had been amazed at how good it had felt. Chibs was an incredible lover; he was loving and protective and tender. He clearly knew how to make a woman feel good. He worried about her pleasure and her comfort. He kissed her skin and worked her up before giving into burying himself in her. And afterwords he kissed her and cuddled with her making sure that she was satisfied and comfortable.

It had taken a while for Molly to finally work up the nerve to tell Chibs about what Brian had done to her besides the mental and physical abuse.

She could remember how she'd been so frightened that Chibs would think she was disgusting, that he would never want to make love to her again.

She had been so dumbfounded when Chibs had held her and told her that he loved her; that everything would be okay, that he would protect her and never hurt her.

Chibs had been so angry to know what Brian had done to Molly. He had been enraged to realize that Brian had taken it one step farther. Hitting Molly wasn't enough for Brian; he'd had to violate Molly in that way.

Knowing what Brian had done to Molly had only made killing the man all the sweeter for Chibs.

Gemma spoke up pulling Molly out of those horrible memories. "Your mother still giving you trouble?"

Molly let out a sigh shaking her head. She was surprised that she spoke up opening up to the Queen of SAMCRO. "She's being so unfair Gemma. I can't believe that she's behaving this way. She hasn't called me...I know it's wrong but I just hate her when she's being like this."

"That's mothers for you." Gemma replied frowning at the thought of her own mother.

She'd never gotten on with her own mother. The woman had been somewhat like Molly's mother; overbearing, stubborn, and controlling.

Yes Gemma knew she was controlling with her own son, but she had learned from the best; Rose Madock.

Gemma sighed feeling the need to give Molly some advice. She found herself liking Chibs' old lady.

Molly was sweet and she clearly made Chibs so happy. She had given him all the love he'd craved for so long.

Although Gemma still felt that Molly could toughen up a bit. "If that mother of yours give you any shit you tell her to fuck off. Trust me honey. You don't need that kind of crap in your life. If she can't see that Chibs is a good man and that you're happy then she doesn't deserve you."

Molly sighed unsure if she could force herself to cut her mother out of her life that way.

Even if her mom was rotten she was still Mason's grandmother. She was his only grandma given that Chibs' mother was dead, and Rose Dupuis really didn't count; Rose was a great grandma after all.

Molly knew it was foolish but she still held a bit of hope that her mom could somehow see the light; that she could learn to at least tolerate Chibs.

Then again Gloria Dupuis hadn't even called though she knew that Molly had a miscarriage.

Gemma spoke again giving Molly's arm another pat. "I'm real proud of you sweetheart. You handled yourself really great even with all that's happened. You defended your family from that bastard just like a real old lady. You're turning out to be a good old lady hon. I'm happy to call you family."

Molly couldn't stop herself from smiling a bit at this comment. She had never once in a thousand years dreamed that Gemma Teller Morrow would actually say that she was proud of her.

After all the first time she'd met the Queen of SAMCRO was when Gemma had answered the door at Abel's birthday party and she'd not been exactly warm and fuzz then.

And then Gemma had shown up at Saint Thomas and wanted to play twenty questions with Molly about her blooming relationship with Chibs.

Having the woman's approval was strange, but it felt pretty good.

Molly felt comforted as Gemma gave her a hug and spoke "You're going to be alright. Your family has you. Family is who you make and they're who you can count on at the end of the day."

Molly took a deep breath hugging Gemma back.

Gemma was completely right, Molly realized.

She had her family here in SAMCRO and they would take care of her.

* * *

><p>Molly stood in the kitchen staring down into the kitchen sink pretending to be mesmerized by her dirty coffee cup as she listened to her brother talk on the other end of her cell phone.<p>

It wasn't until her brother had finished talking about the latest argument between their mother and their Nana Rose, that Molly spoke. "Has mom asked about me?...does...has she said anything?"

Jack took a deep breath anger peeking out through the usual calm demeanor he kept with both his sisters. "I'm sorry Molly."

Molly let out a shaky breath realizing just why he was sorry. Her mother hadn't said a thing had she?

"I don't know what to do Jack...Does she even care about me? I mean if it was my daughter I'd be on the first flight to California." Molly blurted out unable to hide the pain in her voice.

Jack took a deep breath trying not to fall apart. "I know sis I know. She's just...she's mom, I mean you know how she is. She's fucked up Molly."

Molly let her eyes water finally as she spoke up whining. "It's not fair. I just want to feel okay with this. I want to feel like she loves me. As angry as I am with her I still want my mother to hold me and tell me that it's all going to be okay."

"I love you Molly. That's all that matters okay. I love you and Geoff loves you. Candace loves you. Nana Rose adores you. We have you and Mason sis. We have you and we aren't letting you fall apart. I know it's not fair. Mom has never been fair though Molly. You know that. It's not right and if I could fix it I would." Jack reassured her having never been able to handle his sister's tears.

He paused taking a deep breath trying not to break down right along with her. "It's all going to be okay Molly. You're going to come see us next week and we're going to have a great Christmas. You and Nana are going to make the sweet potatoes and the green bean casserole. We can let Chibs have the honor of carving up the ham. We'll decorate the tree at Nana Rose's and watch _National Lampoons Christmas Vacation _and _How the Grinch Stole Christmas. _We'll watch the cartoon version because Jim Carrey in Grinch makeup give you the creeps."

He paused grinning as Molly laughed at that last statement. He was quick to speak again realizing that this was what she needed to hear. "We'll leave cookies out for Santa, and have cheese grits for breakfast on Christmas morning. Geoff and I will take Mason to Santa Land the first week you're here. It's going to be great. Mom won't be there to make you feel like shit. We won't even talk about her. We can look at those photo albums of Rose's. I can torture you by showing Chibs all those photos of you at your first birthday party clad in only a diaper with chocolate cake all over you and in your hair. I can tell him embarrassing stories. It's all going to be so great."

Molly smiled her tears still falling, but her sadness was pushed away for a moment. "You better not show him that picture...it's horrible. The chocolate looks like...well you know. It's gross."

"All the more reason for him to see it. It's my job to torment you sis." Jack replied chuckling at her.

Molly shook her head letting out a huff at this. "I'll show Geoff that picture of you in your tighty whities and rain boots from when you were like three."

"He's already seen my in less than my tighty whities Molly." Jack blurted out grinning as his sister let out a sigh.

Molly smirked seeing this as her opportunity to get back at her brother for that comment. "That's okay Chibs has seen me in less than my undies too."

Jack let out a groan quick to speak. "I didn't need to know that sis. I never want to even think about Chibs and you naked together...or either of you naked apart for that matter. There are just some things a brother doesn't need to know."

Molly shook her head tempted to push it a bit farther, but she had the feeling that if she blurted out something that was sure to embarrass him then Jack would just hang up the phone.

She chose to change the subject instead her stomach filling with butterflies as she spoke. "Have you thought about what I asked you last time we talked?"

Jack wasted no time to speak. "Yes and the answer is yes absolutely. Geoff and I would love to walk you down the aisle this summer."

Molly smiled so thankful to hear this. Jack hadn't attended her wedding to Brian. He had been protesting his little sister marrying the man.

She had walked down that aisle all alone. It wasn't an experience she wanted to repeat with this wedding.

Given that her father was dead her older brother and his partner were the only option to give her away to Chibs.

She wanted both men to walk her down the aisle. They were both so dear to her. Geoff had always felt just like another brother to Molly instead of just a brother in law.

Molly couldn't wait for Geoff to meet Chibs.

When Molly had first explained her brother's sexuality to Chibs she had feared that he would react badly.

After all she knew enough about the MC world to know that some bikers weren't open minded at all.

She had been so relieved when Chibs had just accepted it all without any questions. He had accepted her big brother. It was something Brian had never done.

Brian had always been so nasty about her brother being gay. He had said mean homophobic things about her brother and it had always made her feel so furious.

She had fought with Brian over the issue at least a hundred times and it had always resulted in her receiving a busted lip or a nasty swollen cheek.

Brian couldn't handle conflict.

Molly adored Jack. Her older brother had been a father to her in so many ways.

He had stepped up and been there for her after their father had died. It would have been so easy for Jack to let his own grief take complete control of him, but he had been so strong.

Molly knew that if Chibs were ever to treat her brother like garbage then she would kick his ass to the curb no questions.

She highly doubted Chibs would ever be horrible to her brother though. Chibs had a lot of respect for Jack.

He had worked so hard to win the man's approval.

"Thank you...thank you so much. It wouldn't be the same without you both walking me down the aisle." Molly pointed out her eyes watering for a much different reason.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Molly." Jack admitted knowing that despite Chibs' shady lifestyle the man really was perfect for Molly.

Jack knew that Chibs loved his sister and his nephew.

Molly let out a sigh a frown on her face as the time finally came to say goodbye to her brother.

She barely had time to place her cell down on the counter as a pair of arms wrapped tight around her waist.

She tensed up at this sensation only relaxing as she heard Chibs' voice. "Sorry I didn't mean ta startle ya love."

She turned to face him doing her best to give him a soft smile and hide how just frightened she had been by his sneaking up on her like this. "You're home early."

"I thought I'd come have lunch with my lass." He replied his lips brushing against hers.

He kissed her deeply wanting nothing more than to pull her up and place her on that counter. He wanted to pull those yoga pants down her legs along with her panties, unfasten his jeans and bury himself deep inside of her.

He could picture it her legs wrapped around his waist her panting and moaning as he thrusted into her tight body; home. He could picture them eventually moving down onto the cold tile floor, her riding him out his hands on her hips encouraging her moments her breasts bouncing her body fitting against him so perfectly.

It had been weeks since he'd had her. She was having such a difficult time coping and he felt weak knowing that he couldn't find a way to make her feel safe.

He wanted so badly to make love to his fiance. He wanted it so bad it hurt.

He missed her; being with her in that way.

Molly was the first woman who had made him feel this way in so long. She was his soulmate fully and completely.

Chibs knew that he was all hers; he loved her so much it hurt.

She reminded him of the good within himself; the things he'd forgotten about himself through out years of violence and pain.

She made him feel complete. She was everything to him. Molly was his partner; his lover, and his best friend.

He hated to imagine what his life would have been like had he never met her; going home to a crappy studio apartment at night, having meaningless sex with croweaters, being truly alone in this life.

He missed being able to express his love for Molly through sex. He loved their sex life; it was an active one full of passion and trust. She trusted him to push her boundaries to try new things. And he trusted her to allow him to be vulnerable.

Chibs sighed as he pulled away from the kiss putting his hormones in check. He easily spotted the hazed look in her eyes. He could tell she'd dipped into the pot Bobby had been supplying her with.

He wasn't upset; Chibs knew that this was just Bobby's way of trying to help Molly deal.

Bobby adored Molly just as much as the rest of Chibs' brothers. Bobby was doing what he could to help Molly he only way he knew how; through his pot habit and his baking skills.

Chibs knew he couldn't judge; he'd done far worse than smoke a joint or eat a pot brownie. He wasn't a saint.

He just worried that Molly was using the pot as a crutch; that she was letting it dull her pain, that she was avoiding facing that pain head on.

He wanted her to cope. He needed her to face this and grieve the way she should.

He resisted the urge to bring up her pot habit as he noticed that her eyes were a little watery. "Talk ta me a thiasce."

Molly frowned her smile falling. "It's been a long morning."

Chibs pressed a kiss to her forehead his voice soft and just as soothing as she needed it to be. "What's goin on? Ya were happy as can be when I left this mornin."

"I had a talk with Mason's teacher...she suggested that he see a counselor." Molly explained her frown deepening.

Chibs nodded his head already understanding his old lady's issues with therapy.

She'd had a hard time seeing psychologists as a child. She hated the entire concept of therapy.

She took a deep breath as she spoke again. "And then Gemma and I had this weird talk in the parking lot...and I just don't know where to stand with her...I mean shit with Tara and her is so tense."

"Don't let Tara's problems ruin yer relationship with Gemma lass. It's okay to follow yer heart. Ya have a big heart Molly. It's one a the things I love bout ya." Chibs pointed out his lips pressing to hers.

She smiled shaking her head. She spoke needing to talk about something nice. "What else do you love about me?"

Chibs grinned at her as he spoke his voice growing husky. "Everything lass. Yer eyes yer golden hair...yer smile, yer Louisianan accent. That tight wee body of yers...sexiest thing on tha planet...and don't even get me started on those breasts of yers...god a thiasce they're so damn perfect. I love em in my hands. They're so soft and smooth. I love that tight pussy of yers the most though lass. Yer my perfect treasure. Soon yer goin to be my wife."

She let out a soft gasp as he ran his lips along her neck. His words made a heat spread through out her body; a longing for him.

She was so afraid to move forward with him though; frightened that she would freak out on him like last time.

She pushed her lust back for the moment as she spoke. "I love you Filip."

"Love ya too lass more than anythin." He murmured his lips brushing along her pulse point.

She ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair unable to hide the excitement from her voice as she changed the subject. "Geoff and my brother agreed to walk me down the aisle."

"Ya sure they're goin ta give ya away to a lad like me?" Chibs teased hating to admit that a part of his joke held some truth.

His Molly was way out of his league and he was perfectly aware of it. He was amazed that her brother hadn't packed her and Mason up and took them back to New Orleans when Jack had met him.

Molly pressed her lips to his as she spoke. "I'm already yours baby."

He smiled her comment easing most of his fears about her brother not thinking he was good enough for her.

This was going to be perfect he told himself. Next week they would have Christmas in Molly's hometown and this summer he would make Molly his wife.

Molly Telford; it sounded perfect.

He just hoped that this trip owned up to his needs. He needed his old lady to find some peace.

He prayed that he would find his peace as well.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews? Constructive Criticism? <em>


	5. Working on It

Chibs sat back in the clubhouse his right arm out stretched and ready for Happy to do his thing. Happy was busily readying the ink for the second tattoo.

Happy had just gotten through painstakingly inking a design onto the center of Chibs' ribs on the right side; **Mason**. The name was written neatly in black cursive.

Chibs had decided that there was no better place for _his son's _name than over his ribs. The decision was simply made for the pain factor.

The ribs were one of the most painful places to get a tattoo, but Chibs had wanted it to hurt.

It was his little way of proving to anyone who might have any doubts that Mason was his child, not through genetics but through love. His devotion to the child would never falter for even a second.

What better way of proving this dedication than by getting the boy's name inked over his ribs?

The painful process was his way of voicing his love and acceptance of Mason. He knew that even if the adoption plans failed that the boy would always be his. No one could ever tell him any different.

Chibs was ecstatic knowing that he would have both his babies names on his skin; Kerrianne and Mason.

This next tattoo was just as personal to Chibs. The guys had given him hell when he'd requested it, but Chibs didn't give a damn what anyone said.

He wanted something for his old lady; especially after all Molly and he had been through over the course of their relationship.

Chibs had been toying around with the idea of getting a tattoo for Molly for a long while now. The idea had only become fully rooted into his brain when Molly had shown him the design Happy had drawn up for her thistle tattoo.

Seeing that design; a thistle so proud and intricate with his initials over it had been the only push Chibs had needed to make his decision about this tattoo.

At first he was just going to get an M on his ribs and leave it at that. After all an M would work for both Molly and Mason.

He'd quickly realized that this didn't seem to be enough though. So the M had turned into Mason and he had begun to search his brain for the perfect tattoo for his Molly.

He had thought that maybe he would wait to get this tattoo until right before Molly's and his wedding. He'd thought it would be sort of a nice sweet little gift to his new bride; something that he could show her for the first time at the alter.

After all they'd been through lately though he had realized that he couldn't wait to get this tattoo for even a second longer.

"Are you sure about this man? I mean I wouldn't get an old lady's name on me. You know what they say; old ladies come and go." Tig blurted out as he leaned back in his seat at the bar.

He was sure that the Scot had finally lost his mind, or his balls at the very least.

Chibs smirked nodding his head. "Aye I'm sure. Molly's not goin anywhere if I can help it. Lass aint getting rid of me that easily."

Happy let out a huff as he carefully placed the stencil on Chibs' wrist. "I'd never get a woman's name on me. There's not a bitch in this world who could make me do that...other than my mom."

"You're calling your mom a bitch?" Tig piped up earning a deadly look from Happy.

"No asshole. Don't ever use that word and my mom in the same sentence." Happy blurted out his voice dropping to a dangerous tone. No one talked shit about his mom.

Happy was a bit of a momma's boy, but no one would ever be dumb enough to call him on it.

Tig took a swig from his beer bottle knowing better than to push it. For once in his life he kept his mouth shut.

The silence didn't last long though Tig speaking up a grin on his face. "I can say one good thing about this stupid idea of yours brother. You're so going to get laid...like crazy rough fucking. You get a chick's name on you and the panties come right off."

"Aye how do ya know that? Thought ya never got a lass' name on ya?" Chibs replied trying to ignore the stir in his groin that the mention of panties dropping caused.

It wasn't just the idea of random panties that got to him; it was the idea of Molly dropping her panties that did it for him.

He could picture it in his head so clearly; Molly's bare bottom, her wet pink center, the small puff of golden colored curls above her center.

He could easily imagine her fingers running down her body before they finally dipped between her moist slit. He could picture her whining her hips rocking as she played with herself. He loved it when she touched herself in front of him and he encouraged her to do it as often as possible.

There was something about the sight of her fingering herself that just did it for him. It was just plain erotic; his sweet little a thaisce touching her pussy.

Molly had been so damn bashful about sex when they'd first met. She hadn't been a virgin but she sure as hell hadn't been well versed in all things sex.

She had learned quickly though; with a bit of encouragement from Chibs. All he'd had to do was give her a bit of reassurance and she'd figured it all out.

Molly was pushing her boundaries for him and Chibs knew it was a pretty damn big deal.

It wasn't easy for her to step out of the shell she'd built around herself; after years of living with her ex husbands abuse she had become so introverted. She didn't have the best confidence on the planet; it had been bad before she'd met Brian and the bastard had only made her self esteam drop.

When they'd first started dating Chibs had made a promise to himself that he would change that for her; that he'd help her gain some brassiness.

He was relieved that she was moving towards gaining some faith in herself. Chibs just hoped that she would continue moving forward with it. It wouldn't do her any good to take steps backwards.

He sighed doing all he could to push the lusty little thoughts from his brain.

It wasn't easy of course. All he could think about was bending Molly over their bed at home and pounding into her tight body until his knees turned to jelly.

This little thought was enough to make a pleasant surge of lust run through his groin.

He took a deep breath pushing the thoughts from his mind.

Chibs knew he was sex deprived and the lust was driving him berserk. He'd spent the past three nights locked up in the bathroom in the shower jerking himself off just to ease the tension.

He felt so guilty lusting after Molly when she was so clearly struggling. He was trying hard to be patient but his libido was having a hard time adjusting, no pun intended.

He just missed making love to his fiancee. He missed the closeness that he always felt when they were intimate. He made Molly feel safe and she made him feel cherished and secure.

Chibs hadn't gotten that sort of feeling from sex in at least a decade; not since Fiona. Then Molly had come along and thrown him for a loop.

He liked to joke that Molly didn't have to worry about him straying; telling her that she had ruined him for other women.

After all why eat a hamburger when he could come home and have prime rib?

He knew Molly despised that analogy, but it was fitting.

Chibs chuckled shaking his head as Tig replied to his earlier statement. "I've heard shit...that's all. Women like that kind of crap...romantic shit ya know? Gets em all wet. You throw some huge deceleration of love at em and they get right on their knees."

Chibs shook his head thankful that Tig didn't push it as far as asking him anything sexual about Molly.

The man had already made that mistake once. Tig had gotten drunk once soon after Molly and Chibs had started dating and had been brazen enough to as Chibs if Molly wore thongs or boyshorts. Needless to say it had earned Tig a black eye from Chibs. And apparently it had been a lesson learned for a short while at least.

Chibs had met Tig in the ring numerous times over these past few months and it had all stemmed from Tig saying something totally uncalled for and inappropriate about Molly.

Chibs was proud to say that each time they entered the boxing ring he'd kicked Tig's ass into next week.

He managed to reach into his kutte pocket as his cell began to ring. He grinned spotting the familiar number as it flashed up along the caller id. "Hey my sweet lass."

Chibs ignored the raised eyebrows from his brothers that this little comment had caused as Molly spoke. "Hey you."

She didn't give him time to speak as she spoke up again. "Are you going to be home in time for dinner?"

"No. Sorry lass. Somethin came up with tha club." He remarked knowing that he wanted to keep this little tattoo session a secret for right now.

He was planning on surprising her with it once he managed to get his ass home tonight.

Chibs felt his stomach roll at the silence on the other end of the phone. He tensed his jaw knowing just what was running through his old lady's head.

Molly wasn't that hard to read; well most of the time she wasn't that hard to read.

He knew that she worried about the croweaters and the sweetbutts. She saw the way the club groupies made eyes at Chibs.

She saw the way these women lingered around Chibs; giving him flirty little grins, batting their eyelashes, not so nonchalantly aiming their cleavage at his direction.

Molly hated the way these women looked at her man.

It was a bit strange for her feeling this way. After all she'd never really been the jealous type.

There was just something about the croweaters that irked her though.

She didn't like they way the club whores were always quick to jump at talking to Chibs; offering him beers, and giving him pouty little grins when he so much as glanced their way.

Molly knew she'd have to follow through on Gemma's advice; _Show those bitches that you deserve some respect. Put them in their place and they'll back off your man, or at least they'll stay back as long as you__'__r__e__ around._

Chibs bit the inside of his cheek torn between wanting to be angry with her for not trusting him and wanting to reassure her once again that she was the only woman for him.

He was frustrated that she didn't trust him to remain faithful. Even after all they'd been through she still had her doubts.

It was irritating knowing that she had this distrust. He had never given her any reason to doubt him; he'd stayed stuck to her like glue since the second he'd laid eyes on her.

He took a deep breath knowing that there was no use discussing it all now; especially not over the phone. The last thing he needed to do was have a big blow up with her over the phone.

They would have that conversation on another day, he reassured himself.

Hell maybe if he approached this whole situation carefully then this tattoo he was getting for her would prove that she was it for him.

"I'll be home a bit later than usual Molly. I'm goin to make my tardiness all worth yer while though."

This little comment seemed to cheer Molly up a bit. She chuckled as she replied to this. "Oh really? What if I'm too tired for any funny business?"

"Oh I think I have a few ways of wakin ya up." he remarked a shit eating grin on his face.

He was all too reluctant to get off the phone with her and he'd almost forgotten just where he was, or at least he had until he hung up his cell and shoved it back in his kutte.

Tig was the first to speak not missing a beat. "Like I said man; panties dropping."

Chibs sent him a glare tempted to tell him to fuck off, but he held it in.

He couldn't hide the small grin that spread across his face at this little comment despite the fact that it irritated him a little bit.

Panties dropping, Chibs thought to himself the sly grin remaining on his face. Maybe if he played his cards right that would be just what happened tonight.

* * *

><p>Molly sat at the dining room table a big cup of herbal Lemon Balm tea sitting out in front of her. She blew into the pine green coffee cup cooling the steaming beverage a bit before she took a sip.<p>

She knew it was a little pathetic but she couldn't sleep well at all when Chibs wasn't by her side snoring like a damn buzz saw.

Not that he'd ever admit that his snoring was all that bad. He didn't have to listen to himself though.

She had already put on her pjs which were just a pair of pink pajama shorts with little sheep on them and a big baggy gray shirt. She knew it was't the most attractive choice in nightwear but it was cozy.

Molly knew that it wasn't just Chibs' absence that was keeping her awake though. It was Chibs' and her road trip plans on over to Louisiana that were troubling her the most.

Road trips had never been a fun thing for Molly in the past, or at least road trips with Brian Parker hadn't been any fun.

Taking long car rides with her ex had always been stressful and tense.

She could remember one time soon after they'd started dating Brian had driven her up north to a cousin's funeral.

It had been right in the middle of winter and the farther north they went the icier it became. Brian had remained talkitive through out the first half of trip the only problem was that their conversation had all been onesided; with him chattering on and Molly expected to listen.

He had been irritated that they were going to Boston for this funeral and he'd complained about it loudly. Brian hated Boston. He claimed Bostonians were rude. It was just that old arrogant proud southerner in Brian that made him believe that.

He'd been raised with Southern pride and yearning for the _good old days_ before the Civil War.

Molly had always hated that type of attitude. In her opinion the Civil War was an awful thing to feel nostalgic about and Southern pride was just plain foolish.

Of course she never could have voiced that opinion outloud, not with Brian.

They'd gotten into an argument midway through that trip. Brian had snapped at Molly for misreading a map, and had made her feel like shit. Brian had called her a stupid bitch; _Can't even read a damn map. I knew you could be a stupid bitch but this is a whole new low for you._

The remainder of the trip had been spent in a tense silence with Brian pouting. Brian had stopped at a gas station and had stocked up on beer. He'd gotten shitfaced and had been swerving by the time they'd reached their motel.

Once they'd arrived at the motel all Molly had wanted to do was sleep. Brian had other plans though. He'd woken her up and made it all to clear what he'd wanted; unfastening his jeans and shoving his half hard erection in her mouth. She'd taken care of it, not because she wanted to, but because she knew better than to refuse him.

After he'd cum forcing her to swallow he'd passed out not waking up until late the next afternoon. Molly had just laid there for a long time afterwards feeling sick, her throat so sore.

She knew that she should have left him then, but she'd been a far different person back then than she was today. And a few months after that ill fated trip Brian would get her pregnant and her hellish life with him would begin.

Molly felt a chill run down her spine her body feeling just plain filthy and disgusting at the memory of that forced sexual encounter.

She was past that, Molly reminded herself. She would never feel that sort of pain or degradation ever again.

Molly knew she would never allow anyone to treat her that way ever again. She owed it not only to herself but to Mason as well.

Her baby would never learn that you treated the people you loved with cruelty. She owed Mason more than that sort of childhood.

She did what she could to push the anxieties from her mind knowing that she was absurd to worry about this trip.

It would be fun. They were all thrilled about this Christmas trip. Chibs was excited. Mason was excited. So she should be just as excited.

This trip would be good for the three of them and she knew it.

Molly knew that any anxieties she was experiencing were just due to her messed up state of mind taunting her with the past.

The past needed to stay in the past. After all it was called the past for a reason; you were meant to move past it.

She was excited to see her family at the least. This would be the very first time she'd been home for the holidays in so long now.

Molly was excited to show Chibs all the things she loved about New Orleans; the food, the music, the art, and the sights.

She wanted to take him to her favorite little diner where you could get spicy Jambalaya and amazing sausages. She wanted to show him the Auduban Nature center especially the Butterfly Garden; it was Mason's favorite place. She wanted to show him Jack's bar on the French Quarter. She wanted to show him all the little things she adored about her hometown.

She just prayed that they'd have the time and the cash to see all these little things.

She liked the idea of sharing this side of her with him; the little things that she considered to be an important part of who she'd become today.

Molly looked up from her tea as the door connecting the garage to the kitchen opened up revealing a drowsy looking Chibs.

She smiled at the sight of him making her way over to him. She pressed her lips to his as she spoke. "Hey baby."

"Hey. What are ya doin up?" He replied pressing his lips against hers deepening the kiss his arms wrapping around her. It didn't take long for one of his hands to trail down her back and rest on her bottom.

Molly pulled back her cheeks flushing to admit it. "I can never sleep when you aren't in bed beside me."

She chuckled as Chibs puffed his chest out a bit obviously proud to hear this. She shook her head teasing him. "And have I told you how you're so modest."

He grinned pressing another kiss to her lips giving her bottom a squeeze as he spoke. "Can't help but ta be a bit cocky love. I have a sexy old lady and she can't sleep without me. That's nough ta make most guys pretty confident."

She smiled up at him little comments like this always giving her self esteem a huge boost. He spoke again suddenly becoming a bit more serious. "How was Mason's day? Did he get everythin he needed fer that extra credit?"

"Yeah. He's not very happy about having to do homework over the holidays, but I can't see any other way of helping him get through this year. I can't just let him be held back...especially when him missing all those school days was my fault." Molly explained the smile falling from her face.

Chibs sighed hating the way she was blaming herself for Mason's falling behind in school.

It was just the mother in her, he knew. She thought that it was her job as a mom to make sure that her child didn't fail. It wasn't her fault though, not really, it was just the circumstances of their life lately. It had drug Mason down a bit along with his parents.

Chibs pulled away from her deciding that now was the perfect time to reveal the tattoos to her. "I got somethin ta show ya."

Molly frowned confused as he lifted the black shirt he was wearing up to reveal the last thing she'd expected. The frown left her face as he pulled back the plastic revealing a shiny new tattoo; Mason.

She reached out tempted to run her fingertips along the tattoo but held back knowing that it would hurt the still irritated skin. She ran her fingertips above it instead as she spoke. "Oh Filip. It's so beautiful."

"Ya like it?" He asked already knowing the answer.

She nodded her head her eyes beginning to water a bit as she leaned up pressing a kiss to his lips. "I love it. Mason's going to freak."

He chuckled quick to speak up revealing the next surprise. "I have somethin else ta show ya."

Molly raised an eyebrow wondering what else there could be; what could be more wonderful than what he'd just showed her.

She dropped her jaw as he lifted up his jacket sleeve revealing the inner part of his right wrist to her; _A Thaisce._

The tattoo was in black cursive script. It was his little petname for her; It was Irish Gaelic for my Treasure.

She reached for his wrist running her fingers around the tattoo not wanting to hurt the slightly pink skin surrounding the new ink. "Baby."

He smiled loving the look on her face. He knew that this was the perfect little early Christmas present to her. "So I'm takin it yer happy?"

Molly answered him by leaning down pressing a kiss above the new tattoo. She spoke her voice soft so full of adoration. "I love you so much Filip."

He didn't have time to say a word as she pressed her lips to his the kisses full of passion. She moved down to his chin pressing kisses over his goatee moving downwards to his neck her soft lips brushing along his adams apple.

He moaned as she took him by shock dropping to her knees and reaching for his belt buckle. He spoke up doing his best to think over his raging hormones. "Ya sure bout this Molly? I know ya've been havin a hard time. I don't want ya to feel obligated ta do this love."

Molly gave him a soft somewhat sad smile. "I know baby. I know I've been really weird lately...I've just not felt all that attractive since...well since everything happened. My head is a mess and it was already a little screwed up before...well you know... I want to do this for you though. I love you and I want to make you feel good. It's all we'll do right now...I want to take our time if that's alright? I want to sort of work up my confidence again. I want us to take our time getting reacquainted with this part of our relationship."

Chibs nodded his head wanting so badly to tell her that she was attractive; hell she was beyond just attractive she was gorgeous.

He knew though that given her issues lately him telling her that she was pretty wasn't going to be enough to make her feel okay.

He knew working with her slowly like she'd suggested would be the best way to handle this all. It would be good for Molly to take things at her pace.

Brian had taken the control away from her for years. Chibs knew he had to make her understand that she had that control over herself and her life back now.

Her past and the miscarriage and everything else that had happened had been a serious blow to her self worth and it might be a while until she felt okay again. He was willing to do whatever it took to help her through it all.

"I love ya a thaisce." He stated giving her a silent okay to continue.

She unfastened his belt making quick work of unfastening his jeans and pulling them down to his knees along with his boxers.

She took his half hard member in her hand stroking it gently; slowly working him. He moaned the feel of her delicate soft hand exactly what he'd been missing and dreaming of all this time.

He moaned his body shuddering as Molly leaned in licking him from the base of his cock up to the tip pulling the foreskin back to lap at his sensitive pink head. She let out a pleased little moan at the taste of the precum already leaking from him.

It had been a while since they'd done this and she had the feeling it wouldn't take him long to cum.

She took him in her mouth sucking and licking softly causing Chibs' head to fall back a groan escaping his throat.

Chibs stared down at her a gasp leaving his lips at the sight; her stunning hazel eyes staring up at him wide and full of love her full lips sliding up and down his cock her wet pink tongue lapping at him.

He placed his hand on the back of her head his fingers curling around her silken blonde locks. He gritted his teeth resisting the urge to rock against her. He had to take this slow; she needed the control.

He grunted his voice low urging her on as she took him deeper. "That's it love. Christ I love yer sweet little mouth on my cock. That's my sexy lass."

Molly moaned at the words as she continued to suck him. He was the first and the only man who'd ever been able to get her off with dirty talk.

She placed her hands on his backside digging her nails in as she encouraged him to rock against her. She didn't want him to treat her like a fragile little doll that would break at the first sign of roughness. She appreciated that he cared and was trying to be gentle with her, but right now she just wanted things to feel normal. And normally she let him rock against her when she sucked him off.

Chibs grunted getting the hint he rocked against her moaning at the feel of her nails digging against his ass. He had a feeling he'd have tiny crescent shaped marks left over on his backside after this.

He rocked against her a bit more roughly the hand on the back of her head encouraging her to take him even deeper. He closed his eyes letting the pleasure take over his mind; this was just what he needed. He'd missed having this with her so much; even if it was only a blow job it felt glorious.

Chibs could feel his end sneaking up on him swirling around in his gut and his balls growing tighter and tighter the longer she sucked him.

It wasn't until he hit the back of her throat though that he lost it a loud moan spilling from his mouth as he let it all go spilling inside of her mouth.

Molly took all that he had to give her not minding it. He was the first man she'd never really minded swallowing with.

She had hated it with Brian because he forced it and she knew she hadn't had a choice. With Chibs though she knew she had a choice or rather she wanted to swallow or not. Chibs had made that clear to her the first time she'd done this for him.

When she'd finally taken all he had to give her she pulled back off his now limp cock, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Chibs stared down at her breathless at the sight her lips pink and swollen her face flushed.

She stood up barely having a chance to get on her feet as he pressed his lips to hers. He pulled back all the words in his mind spilling out. "I've missed that so much lass. Christ I've missed ya Molly."

Molly placed a hand against his cheek running it up the side of his face to his salt and pepper hair. She ran her fingers through his hair causing him to lean against her touch as she spoke. "I know baby. I've missed it too. I'm sorry I've been so distant and messed up lately."

He frowned his lips brushing along hers as he replied to this comment. "No reason to be sorry lass. We're both havin a hard time with this all, but we're goin to figure it all out."

He managed to pull his pants and boxers back up feeling a bit exposed being the only one naked from the waist down.

"You promise you won't get tired of me?" Molly asked her anxieties and insecurities peeking out.

Chibs shook his head dumbfounded by the question. He let out a sigh pressing a soft kiss to her lips as he spoke his voice firm. "I'm never goin ta get sick of ya love. I love ya Molly. I've got ya and I'm goin to take care of ya."

"I love you too." She murmured her arms encircling his waist.

They'd figure this out she told herself. He wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

><p>Juice let out a heavy breath as he parked his bike in Molly's and Chibs' driveway. They weren't leaving for the trip to New Orleans till early tomorrow morning but he wanted to make this visit a day early; give himself time to have this conversation with Chibs.<p>

He rang the doorbell of the farmhouse raising an eyebrow as Molly answered the door thankfully having had time to change out of her pjs and into a pair of black yoga pants and a green tanktop.

Her hair was a bit sweaty she'd been right in the middle of her morning yoga routine. She'd always loved yoga it was wonderful for keeping fit and flexible. She'd started doing pregancy yoga when she'd been pregnant with Mason and she'd been hooked on it since then.

Mason appeared at the doorway beside his mother still dressed in his pjs. He grinned up at Juice the sight of the man thrilling him. "Juice can you come see my legos? I'm building a ship like in that Star Trek show you showed me."

Molly shook her head ruffling the boy's shaggy hair. "You're supposed to be eating your corn flakes kid."

"I'm doing both." Mason sighed as though the answer was obvious.

Juice did his best to hide the anxiety whirling around inside of him as he spoke up. "Maybe later little prospect."

Molly bit the inside of her cheek trying not to show any irritation at the little nickname her son had been given by the Sons. She'd quickly realized that it wasn't a battle she was going to win.

"Is Chibs here? I had some questions about the trip tomorrow?" Juice blurted out only half lying. He did have some questions but that wasn't all he wanted to talk about.

Molly shook her head giving him a soft smile. "He left about three hours ago to run by TM. He wanted to make sure the tires on my bug are all aired up before we leave tomorrow. I think he was getting gas too. Come on in. I'm sure he'll be back soon."

Juice swallowed the lump developing in the back of his throat as he followed Molly into the farmhouse. He did manage to smile a bit as Molly spoke up scolding her son. "Go back and finish that cereal before it gets soggy. Wait for Lego time until you're done. Eat that toast too. I know you aren't liking the wheat bread but it's good for you."

Mason rolled his eyes running off to the dining room knowing better than to argue with his mother.

Molly shook her head laughing a bit. "He's only six and he's already sassing me. I'm terrified of the teen years I'm going to get with this kid. If he takes after Chibs too much more I'm going to have a breakdown before Mason turns eighteen. He's already asking Chibs about when he'll be old enough for a Harley."

Juice managed to laugh at this relieved that Molly wasn't questioning his reasoning for visiting so early.

She turned to face him frowning as she realized that he was practically shifting back and forth; fidgeting. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah fine...I'm fine." He replied the lump in the back of his throat growing wider.

She sighed knowing that he didn't seem fine at all. She was tempted to push the issue but she quickly decided that it was none of her business really.

She felt her stomach roll wondering if it was club shit. She hoped not. The last thing she wanted was for something in the club to put an end to this trip they'd planned.

Molly felt a bit lost as what to say to the man. It was clear that Juice was pretty desperate to talk to Chibs.

She already knew that things were a little tense between the two men. Chibs hadn't told her much about the reasoning behind this; just that Juice had done something dumb that had affected the club and that he had a hard time fully trusting the man now.

She figured that the trust issues weren't that bad though considering Chibs trusted the man enough to watch over Mason and she.

Molly opened her mouth ready to play good hostess and offer Juice some coffee but she didn't have the opprotunity as Chibs entered the room apparently having entered through the door leading from the garage to the kitchen.

Chibs spoke up completely oblivious to Juice's prescne in the room at first. "I don't know why ya won't let me get ya a new car lass. That bug of yers is a disaster. I had ta change yer oil again. I already checked under tha hood fer leaks at least a dozen times and I can't find nothin. Tha car is cursed Molly."

She shook her head accustomed to this complaint by now. They'd had this exact conversation at least a million times. "Be nice to my baby Filip. That disaster brought me here to you."

He let out a huff at this comment. "I know that. I could buy ya a new car though...one of those new Beetles if ya'd let me. I know a ton of good car dealers. We could get ya a good deal."

"No thank you." She remarked as he pressed a kiss to her lips his arms encirlcing her waist.

She turned back to nod towards Juice. "We have a visitor."

Chibs frowned surprised to see Juice at this hour. "Everythin alright? I didn't get a call and I was jus at the garage."

"I just thought i'd come by...can we talk?" Juice blurted out deciding that it was best to just jump right into this.

"Aye alrigh. Let's go out on tha porch." Chibs replied giving Molly's waist a squeeze before he headed out front with his brother.

Chibs took a seat on one of the patio chairs sitting out on the front porch staring at Juice expectantly as the younger man sat down on a chair beside him.

Juice turned to face him his stomach knotting up as he struggled to find the best words. "I know things have been tense between us for a long time."

"Aye they have been, but that aint my fault is it?" Chibs replied his body tensing up at this choice in conversation.

Juice cringed knowing that he shouldn't have expected this to be easy. He cleared his throat his body deflating. "I know. It was me...I fucked up Chibs. I was freaked out and I made a mistake. I just...I miss the way things use to be."

Chibs narrowed his eyes wanting to snap at Juice; wanting to tell him that things never could be the same. Juice had stolen from the club to help a cop; he'd betrayed the MC.

He took a deep breath his mind turning to the little boy inside eating his cereal and trying to casually play with his legos without Molly realizing it. Mason adored Juice. He had gotten quite close to most of Chibs' brothers but Juice had connected with the little boy easily.

Juice was always showing Mason geeky little shows and cartoons when the boy visited the clubhouse and Mason was always showing Juice his legos and hotwheels.

He knew that Molly liked Juice as well. When she was still pregnant the man was always making her smoothies and giving her healthy eating tips. Juice had been good to her; a good friend.

Chibs took another deep breath knowing that he had to find a way to move past this. Not for Juice's sake, he still didn't quite know how to forgive the man, but for Mason's sake. The kid couldn't take any more drama in his life.

"I appreciate ya takin good care of my old lady and my lad Juice...I know ya've been good to em and I know Molly appreciates it all...Mason adores ya...This shite between me and ya...It jus aint goin to disappear over night." Chibs remarked as he reached in his kutte for a cigarette.

He lit up as he spoke again. "It's goin to take time Juice...there's a lotta hurt left over from what ya did...We can try though...I'm not promisin shite will ever be the way it was before but I'm willin to work on things between us...fer Mason and Molly's sake. They like ya and they both mean tha world ta me. I'd do anythin ta make em both happy."

Juice let out a heavy sigh knowing that this answer wasn't exactly what he'd been hoping for, but it was better than nothing.

He swallowed the lump in his throat no longer able to stand sitting by his former best friend and mentor. "Thanks...I'll see you tomorrow...First thing."

He made his way down off the porch unwilling to look back at Chibs.

Juice took a deep breath as he mounted his motorcycle and strapped his helmet on. He would do whatever it took to earn back Chibs' trust and brotherhood.

He just missed his friend.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews? Constructive Criticism?<em>

_A Thaisce= (Irish Gaelic) My Treasure_


	6. Feel It in My Bones

Chibs drove Molly's old bug down Interstate ten Juice following them on his Harley. The radio in the bug was turned down low the classic rock station they'd put it on was playing Hey Jude by the Beatles.

They had been on the road for a couple of days and they were more than ready to reach Molly's grandmother's house in New Orleans.

They'd been sleeping in motels and eating their meals at diners and they were all a bit tired of both the bad food and the lumpy motel beds.

The entire family Juice included was looking forward to Rose's cooking and a soft bed.

Chibs could admit he was really looking forward to this Dupuis family Christmas. It was going to be a far cry from Chibs' previous Christmas holidays.

Usually he just went to Gemma's house for Christmas dinner with the Sons who didn't have families to spend the holiday with. Sometimes the Sons who had families even found themselves spending Christmas at Gemma's.

After all the Sons were a family; a dysfunctional violent criminally prove family, but still.

For a lot of the Sons the MC felt like more of a family than their biological family.

Chibs had thought that he would feel sad about missing a Christmas at Gemma's. He was surprised to find that he wasn't all that bummed out about it though.

He knew that he might miss Gemma's turkey stuffing and her green bean casserole, but he had a feeling that Rose's cooking would very well make up for it. Especially considering Molly would be helping out with the cooking.

Chibs knew Molly was an amazing cook. He'd gained the extra pounds during their relationship to prove this fact.

More than anything he was looking forward to spending the holiday with the woman he loved, their boy, and his new extended family.

He even found himself looking forward to spending some time with Juice, despite all the sour feelings he still felt about the past.

Chibs took a sip of his to go cup of coffee that he'd just gotten at the diner they'd stopped at for lunch. He placed it back in the cup holder smiling as he realized Molly was singing along softly to the song on the radio.

_Hey Jude, don't make it bad  
>Take a sad song and make it better<br>Remember to let her into your heart  
>Then you can start to make it better<em>

_Hey Jude, don't be afraid  
>You were made to go out and get her<br>The minute you let her under your skin  
>Then you begin to make it better<em>

_And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain  
>Don't carry the world upon your shoulders<br>For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool  
>By making his world a little colder<em>

He grinned even more as Molly spoke up her cheeks flushing as she realized he'd overheard her singing. "This is my favorite song...I use to sing Hey Jude to Mason when he was a baby."

Chibs tried not to burst out laughing as Mason piped up from his spot in the backseat. "I don't remember that."

Molly turned in her seat to face the boy giving him a grin as she giggled. "That's because you were just a little baby. I used to sing this song though. I would hold you in my arms in a rocking chair and I would sing this song to you. It would always put you to sleep so quick. I'd sing it to you till I reached the end though even if you were fast asleep."

Chibs watched this exchange a small smile on his face. He still adored Molly's _mommy mode_. He was sure it was one thing he would never find himself hating for even a second in his lifetime.

He had to love how at ease Molly looked right now. She was wearing a nice gray and red printed bohemian style sundress with her black converse and a comfy dark red cardigan, and she had left her blonde locks down allowing them to remain in their natural wavy state.

He smiled spotting her favorite dangly silver and turquoise earrings. She had been wearing those exact earrings the day he'd met up with her again at Abel Teller's party.

Chibs hoped that he might be able to talk her into wearing them on their wedding day this summer.

She looked like the woman Chibs had fallen in love with not the sad downtrodden shell of a woman she'd been these past few weeks since she'd lost the baby.

He had watched her pack her bags the day before and had been relieved that she hadn't packed any of the pot Bobby had supplied her with.

Chibs hoped that this was a sign that Molly was moving past numbing herself with marijuana.

He prayed that she was finally going to really face all that happened head on without drugs numbing her brain. He knew that if she was ready he would be there with her one hundred percent.

Chibs reached out taking Molly's hand in his as she settled back into her seat. He held her hand gently giving it a squeeze. He pulled her hand up to his lips pressing a kiss to it as he spoke his voice soft. "I love ya a thaisce."

"I love you too baby." She replied giving him a drowsy smile. Long car rides always made her so sleepy.

She was trying hard to stay awake and not give into her drowsiness. She had a feeling that if she snuck a nap in then Chibs would fall asleep as well.

He sucked at staying awake while driving a car. Chibs claimed that it wasn't like a bike where the cold air passing by kept him wide awake.

And he was too damn stubborn to just let her drive the car. He was the typical male; wanting to drive the car at all times.

He watched her turn her eyes back to Mason a gentle smile on her face.

Chibs prayed that this was the beginning of his old lady, their boy, and he finding a sense of peace after all they'd been through.

Molly was thrilled to be going home, but her stomach was in knots over this entire visit.

There was a lot of fear; her mom showing up and causing drama, Chibs being pulled away half way during the visit by the MC, running into her ex in-laws.

She prayed that none of these scenarios would play out anywhere except for in her mind. She couldn't handle any shit being stirred up during this visit.

This visit to New Orleans had to be a good one. She needed a nice holiday with the man she loved, her child, and her family. It wasn't too much to ask for was it?

Molly tried to focus on the positive things that were guaranteed to happen during this trip. There would be Christmas of course. And then there would be the one thing Molly had been looking forward to the most; making her wedding dress with Rose.

She was looking forward to a nice afternoon with just her sister Candace, Rose, and her making her dream wedding dress. It was going to be a nice bonding moment between her sister and she and their grandmother.

Of course Molly knew her wedding dress plans could be made terrible if her mother bothered to show her face.

Molly knew that she would explode if her mom showed her face around her. She was so angry with the woman; for the way Gloria Dupuis treated Chibs so horribly. She was angry with her mother for being so horrible about the pregnancy. And she was livid with her mother for not even bothering to call with all that had happened.

Molly felt so guilty for saying it but she was beginning to hate her mother.

She'd always had to have some patience with her mom; to try to understand that her mother was a complicated woman who was damaged by the death of her true love. But Molly couldn't make excuses for her mother any longer.

As much as it hurt her she had to find a way to close the book on this screwed up relationship she had with her mom.

Molly knew that she had to move on with her life with Chibs and let go of the things that had brought her down in the past.

That was Molly's mission for this trip; to heal and find a way to begin again.

She was pulled out of her worries as Mason spoke up again a soft sigh escaping his lips. "I like the simple song the best though."

"The simple song?" Chibs asked clueless as to what this meant.

Molly gave her fiance a smile explaining it. "Simple Man by Lynyrd Synyrd. I've been singing it to him when he has nightmares. He's been having a lot of them this past week...just kid stuff you know? Monsters in the closet."

Mason scrunched his nose up his voice holding a hint of fear as he spoke. "I keep dreaming the monster grabs my ankle when I'm getting into bed. The monster is slimy and gross and he has long claws. It makes me cry, but mommy sings to me and that makes me feel better. I like the Simple Man song it's pretty. Do you know the song daddy?"

Chibs nodded his head his stomach knotting up as he realized he would know that Mason had been having so many nightmares and had been waking up in tears if he'd been home more often these past few weeks.

The little boy was feeling insecure Chibs realized; he didn't feel safe if he was dreaming of some monster latching on to his ankle when he climbed into bed.

_His son _felt insecure and he wasn't there to make it better, Chibs told himself ashamed at the thought.

He took a deep breath silently reminding himself that he would make it a point to be home more often from now on.

He would be there for his boy one way or another.

Chibs knew that he had to make it a point to be with his family when they needed him. He couldn't allow Jax to pull him away on bullshit any longer, not when Molly and Mason needed him.

He knew that putting anything above Molly and Mason would just equal disaster.

He knew of course that he still had loyalties to the MC. Chibs just didn't want those loyalties to supersede his fiancee and step son.

He had seen brother after brother lose a wife and a family just because they did exactly that; put the club over everything else in their life.

It was the Sons law; the club and brotherhood were the only thing that should matter in life.

That wasn't life though.

This was the first time Chibs had really had any thoughts of anything taking a place over the Sons. Then again he hadn't had much that could supersede the club before Molly and Mason, just his Kerrianne and Fiona.

Of course that hadn't turned out well for him; trying to make things work with Fiona and his daughter as well as his ties to the club.

He refused to allow history to repeat itself with Molly and Mason. He couldn't allow another failure on his part.

Chibs just wondered how he would find a way to make this all work. He had to find a balance or choose; this was a frightening realization for Chibs.

He gave Mason a tight smile answering his question as he tried to push back his guilt. "Aye I do lad. It's a good song. I bet yer ma sings it really nice...maybe she can sing it to us both sometime."

He cleared his throat pushing his thoughts of the club and what it might cost him far from his head as he peeked in the rear-view mirror at Mason. "How's that math comin along laddie?"

Molly and he could both see the frustration on the boy's face as he'd been attempting to get through the worksheet by himself.

Mason let out a melodramatic sigh holding up the math worksheet his teacher had given him as part of his extra credit. "It's so hard. I need help mommy."

"I don't know baby. I was a drummer and we drummers only know how to count to four and repeat." Molly teased pausing for a moment allowing Mason to let out a huff rolling his eyes.

She shook her head knowing that if he was rolling his eyes at six years old, what kind of horrors were they going to have to deal with when Mason was sixteen.

She sighed her stomach rolling as she found herself picturing a sixteen year old Mason rolling his eyes at her before he tore out of their driveway on his Harley.

Chibs chuckled at this joke about Molly's past as a drummer as Molly spoke again. "What's got you all worked up Mason?"

Mason spoke reading the math word problem his voice growing weepy from pure frustration. "You have seven crickets. How many crickets would you have to collect to have eleven crickets?"

Molly laid the seat back so she could reach out and place a soothing hand against her son's cheek. She had hoped her joke about being a drummer would cheer the boy up and make him laugh, but it was clear he was far too frustrated to laugh at the moment. "Hold up all your fingers baby."

He did what she said placing the worksheet in his lap on top of his blue binder along with his pencil. Molly spoke again her voice patient and soothing. "Okay put down seven fingers. What's that equal?"

The little boy sniffled trying so hard to stop his tears. "Three."

"Okay now what comes after ten?" Molly asked her voice still holding that soothing tone.

There was nothing more painful for Molly than seeing her son struggle through his learning disability.

He sniffled again his voice tiny. "Eleven."

Molly nodded her head giving him a smile trying to hide how much seeing hims struggle hurt her. "Okay and that's one number right? So we add three and one which makes?"

"Four." Mason replied a frown crossing his face.

"Yes so Eleven minus seven is four. Which means that we need to add four crickets to the seven we have already to make eleven crickets. So write down four." She replied giving him a tight smile her mind going into overdrive realizing just how much trouble he was having with this.

Molly pulled her hand from her son's cheek as he scribbled his answer down on the worksheet. She sat her seat back up Chibs and she exchanging worried glances.

The school had given Mason an IQ test early in the beginning of the school year. The test had revealed that Mason was very bright, but he had some learning disability that was called dysacalculia.

Dysacalculia was a common developmental disorder in which the subject had difficulty understanding numbers, learning how to manipulate numbers, and learning facts relating to mathematics.

The easiest way to explain it was that when Mason tried to do math his brain just got all cluttered up and twisted and he confused himself. It took a lot of just sitting with him and helping him sort the mess in his head out for him to solve math problems.

They had been told that tutoring might help the boy deal with this learning disability, but so far they'd been unable to find a decent tutor for the child that they could afford.

Both Molly and Chibs were at a loss as how to best help the boy. It wasn't an easy situation.

They had been trying their best to just sit with Mason and help him when he became frustrated but they weren't sure if they were doing enough for him.

Chibs tightened his grip on the steering wheel seeing Mason have these difficulties always got to him.

He felt like such a failure not knowing how to help the child. He wanted nothing more than for Mason to find a way to deal with his troubles in math.

It scared Chibs to think of how much Mason would struggle through out his life. He just hoped that he would be around long enough to help the boy deal with his frustrations without falling to pieces.

He frowned refusing to give in to this thought. He wouldn't die before he got the chance to be a good dad.

Chibs felt his heart sink when he looked over at Molly spotting the worry clear in her features. He could admit he was worried too.

The child was clearly struggling. It pained him to see it.

Chibs took his hand in hers again giving it another squeeze as he spoke keeping his voice low enough to where only Molly could hear. "He's got us love. We'll figure somethin out. He's goin to be alrigh."

She nodded her head hoping that he was right.

They had to find a way to help Mason. There had to be a way.

* * *

><p>Molly fell into her grandmother Rose's arms an excited giggle escaping her lips. She pulled back allowing Rose to press a hand to her cheek as the woman spoke. "My baby. I'm so glad you're alright."<p>

She pressed a kiss to her granddaughter's cheek as she spoke again. "I am so glad you and Filip are here."

Rose pulled away leaning down and hugging Mason the boy drowsy from the long trip. Molly smiled as the boy allowed his great grandmother to hold him against her.

She peered up at her grandmothers two story shotgun house able to see it's beauty even in the nighttime.

The house was done in gorgeous red wood siding and had white bannisters. It was surrounded by a black iron fence. There were a ton of potted plants around the home only adding on the cheery feel.

She had always adored her grandmother's home. It had been purchased after her grandfather Harold had retired from his job running a line of Cajun diners he'd opened with Rose.

The little diners were called Tallulah's had been run for decades until Molly's grandfather had been forced to retire.

There had been three of them all around New Orleans at one point, but now there was only one left.

The one remaining restaurant was being run by a cousin of Rose's. Rose still got a chunk of the restaurant's earning as par the agreement Harold had made when the original Tallulah's had been sold.

Somehow her grandmother's home had managed to make it through Hurricane Katrina. Though it hadn't been easy to convince Rose to leave before that horrible disaster.

Juice raised an eyebrow as Rose pulled away from Mason giving Chibs a hug. She leaned up pressing a kiss to Chibs' cheek as she spoke. "Filip. I am so happy to see you sweetheart."

"Me too Rose." Chibs remarked his cheeks flushing a bit as she pulled away.

He was still so stunned at how welcome Rose had always made him feel. Chibs had been accepted by Rose right off the bat and it was still a shock to him.

After all most people would deduce by taking one look at him that they would never want a guy like him in their family with their great granddaughter.

Rose seemed to march to the beat of her own drum though.

Chibs made her Molly happy and that was good enough for Rose.

Chibs cleared his throat nodding to Juice. "Ya remember Juice Rose? He's goin to be spendin the holiday with us if that's alrigh?"

"Of course it is sweetheart. Welcome, Juice is it?" Rose replied giving Juice a hesitant glance.

Juice did his best to give Rose a polite smile trying to ignore the hesitation in her eyes. "Yes JC is fine...Juice is just a nickname, Like Chibs."

"Well JC. Welcome. Come on in everyone. I've a got a room set up for Mason. You can room with him Juice. Molly and Chibs will be in Molly's old room." Rose replied turning her eyes away from Juice and to Molly.

Both Juice and Chibs let out a relieved sigh thankful that Rose didn't question just why Juice was tagging along for the holiday.

Neither man nor Molly wanted to worry the woman over Molly's or Mason's safety while they were visiting New Orleans.

Rose's house was exactly how Molly remembered it; warm filled with golds and reds. There were a ton of family photos generations of the Dupuis Garret family hanging on the walls.

Chibs was pleasantly surprised by the home; He'd expected the stereotypical old lady home; antiques, plastic covering on the furniture and the smell of mothballs.

The home was beautiful. Chibs' favorite feature was the family photographs covering ever surface and wall imaginable.

He was tempted to walk over to the wall by the staircase and admire the photographs but held back nodding to Juice. "We better get the gifts inside lad."

Juice nodded his head thankful that Chibs was being civil with him just as promised.

Juice prayed that this trip would heal some wounds.

Molly placed Mason into the twin bed in the spare bedroom tucking the old red and gray quilt around him.

She chuckled as Mason struggled to stay away not quite willing to give into sleep quite yet. He spoke up his voice drowsy. "Will Santa be able to find us here at Nana's house?"

Molly nodded her head knowing that this conversation was going to come up sooner or later.

She had already had to soothe the boy the week before when a girl in his class had told him that Santa wasn't real.

Molly had thankfully managed to convince the boy that Santa wasn't a fake. She just wasnt ready to let her son lose the wonder of Santa Claus yet.

He had been through so much in his short little life. He deserved some magic in his life.

She pressed a kiss to Mason's forehead as she tucked his stuffed penguin in his arms between the tight quilt. "Of course he will."

"How though. How will he know we're here?" Mason asked still so reluctant to fall asleep.

Molly smiled smoothing back his shaggy bangs as she spoke. "Because Daddy and me called him and told him where we were going...you see when you turn eighteen you get a letter from Santa with his phone number. You can call him and talk to Mrs. Claus if you are going on a trip for Christmas. She adds your address to Santa's notes so he can find the house you're staying in."

She was relieved as Mason nodded his head a look of amazement on his face. She had been frightened that he wouldn't buy her story considering she had made it up off the top of her head.

She pressed another kiss to Mason's forehead as she spoke up. "Now you get some sleep baby. Maybe Nana will let you help with breakfast tomorrow."

Molly left on the nightlight on the dresser as she left the room closing the door behind her.

She was surprised to be met with Rose as soon as she left the room.

Rose placed a gentle hand on her cheek as she spoke up smiling. "I am so happy you're here sugar."

"Me too Nana." Molly admitted not lying. It felt amazing to be back in her grandmother's home.

It reminded her of holidays when she was a little girl sleeping at Rose's house. She hoped that this Christmas would resemble the Christmases of her girlhood.

Rose sighed keeping her hand pressed to Rose's cheek as she spoke up. "How are you honey? Really how are you doing? I know these past few weeks have been so hard on you...I know you've been hurting."

Molly felt herself sink against her grandmother almost feeling like a little girl again. She let the words spill from her mouth knowing that she could trust Rose with anything. "It's been hard...I hurt so much Nana. Filip and I wanted a baby so badly...we were so excited. We'd picked out names and were planning the nursery and then it was just gone...It's just not fair."

Rose hugged Molly holding her in her arms and rocking her like she was a child again. "I know baby I know."

She held her for a long while before she spoke again admitting something that she had never told anyone. "I miscarried soon after your grandfather and I married...It was so sudden. The doctor that examined me told Harold and I that my womb was tainted...that I would never be a mother. Of course doctors back then didn't know anything. I had almost given up when I got pregnant with your father. He was Harold's and my miracle. Your father was an angel from the start."

Molly widened her eyes stunned by this story. Her Nana had never spoken of this before.

She felt her heart ache knowing how that story ended; her father had been ill and had ended his own life.

Rose pressed a kiss to her cheek as she nodded at a picture on the wall of Micheal Dupuis as a little boy all wide eyed and unaware of the pain he would one day know. "Your father would be so proud of you. He would love Filip. I know that for a fact. He would be so proud to know that you found some happiness."

Molly smiled wanting to argue that her dad would freak over Chibs' involvement with the Sons, but she held this comment in knowing that believing that her dad would love Chibs was a nice thought.

Rose spoke again rubbing Molly's arm soothing her. "You will have a baby sweetheart. I can feel it in my bones. Filip and you will have that baby."

Molly nodded her head giving her grandmother another hug.

Rose was right Molly told herself. Chibs and she would have the baby they wanted so badly.

It had to happen.

…...

Chibs smiled as Molly slid into the tiny queen sized bed in her old bedroom. The old room looked the same as it always had.

Molly had always had a bedroom in Rose's house. Rose's house had always felt more like a home to Molly than the old double wide trailer her mother had lived in.

She had found herself spending more and more time with Rose through out her childhood, with Gloria being so unbalanced Rose's home had been a haven for Molly.

The room was tiny but filled with little touches of Molly's personality. The bed held a blue and green quilt. The dresser was covered with pictures of Molly growing up.

The painting above the bed still remained; a painting of a rabbit that Molly had bought from a thrift store when she was fourteen.

The green Tiffany lamp on the bedside table gave the room a small pleasant glow.

Chibs tried not to groan at the sight of Molly's nightgown. It was a tiny yellow cotton number that barely reached her mid thigh.

He was tempted to yank it right off of her and reveal what laid beneath it, but he kept his hormones in check sure that Molly wouldn't appreciate getting kinky in her childhood bedroom.

Chibs allowed Molly to snuggle up against him her head resting on his chest. She spoke up the sound of his heartbeat soothing her. "Thank you for taking me here baby."

"Of course Molly. I'm happy to be here." Chibs admitted not lying.

He was happy to be spending the holiday with Molly's family.

It had seemed that after all Molly and he had been through that Molly's family had finally accepted Chibs fully and completely.

Well everyone but Gloria, but Chibs knew that Molly's mother probably never would approve of him.

Molly traced the tattoo in the center of his chest tracing the lines of the dollar as she spoke. "I love you Filip."

He pressed a kiss to her temple his voice soft as he began to allow sleep to seep into his consciousness. "I love you too Molly."

Molly gave him a soft smile as she spoke up "We're going to get pregnant again baby. I promise you we'll do whatever it takes."

He frowned wondering just where this comment had come from. He shoved his curiosity back as he spoke up. "Of course we will darling. Yer too wonderful not to be a ma."

"I want a boy. A little you." She blurted out picturing it in her mind a little version of Chibs; dark eyes and dimples.

Chibs grinned pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. "We already have a boy though love...what if I want a wee you?"

She pressed a kiss to his lips giggling. "We could have both. A boy and a girl. Or maybe a few boys and a few girls."

"Aye how many babies are ya plannin on squeezing out of me lass?" Chibs teased giddy to be talking about this.

It was the first time he had heard Molly speak with such assurance since the miscarriage.

She pressed another kiss to his lips as she spoke. "A lot. I want a big family, a house filled with little versions of us."

"Aye. Ya do know I'm an old man lass? I might not have the juice to give ya too many wee ones." Chibs teased trying to hide the seriousness of his comment by joking.

He did worry about his age playing a factor into his abilities to get Molly pregnant.

He knew that his lifestyle didn't help with his health; he drank too much and smoked too many cigarettes.

He had to fear that his own shitty health would deter from his ability to impregnate Molly.

That would kill him, not being able to give Molly those babies she was dreaming of.

Molly shook her head sighing. "Men can have babies till they drop dead baby."

She pressed a deep kiss to his lips as she spoke again. "We'll find a way. My Nana says she can feel it in her bones Filip. And Rose knows what she's talking about."

He chuckled silently thanking Rose for whatever she'd said to Molly while Juice and he were loading gifts inside.

He stroked Molly's back as she drifted off into a deep sleep. He pressed a kiss to her temple as he spoke up his voice low. "I'm goin to do whatever it takes ta give you that big family my love. I promise ya. I love you so much."

Maybe Rose was right he told himself.

Maybe there really was hope for Molly and he to have another baby.

He prayed that they could. He knew it would break Molly's heart if she couldn't have a baby.

And if Molly broke so would he.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews<em>_? Constructive Criticism?_


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